Chapter 11: Bankrupt beliefs and other human foibles
I excuse myself and return to my work area. I send another fax also allegedly from the now dead priest’s number. The message is simple.
I have stopped things from happening to the last two names on the list from before, due to your penance.
However, if anyone hurts Amelae or her mother, I will change my mind on those two and I will rain down misery on all in your parishes. I will tell each, it was your doing.
Keep my two safe, or many will pay the price. I do not kill, but I cannot stop others who will be angry with you from doing so.
I say this to you so you hear me! I do not take life. I do not give life. I am not a god. But I am powerful.
Do not allow those in my care to suffer because of your foolish beliefs.
Master
I wait and watch. I see a call ten minutes later from the secretary to the bishop. It is time to rejoin Amelae. I think she will be getting a call.
Amelae is sitting with Erlyn on a couch. She has been crying. Erlyn is comforting her. It doesn’t seem to me that Erlyn is upset. She has seen death close up. I suspect that she sees this very differently than does Amelae.
I sit down on the couch. Amelae is now sandwiched between Erlyn and me.
Amelae, you may get another call. No one has died. Turn on your phone and take the call.
She does as requested but continues to sob quietly. The phone rings. She seems incapable of answering it. Erlyn picks up the phone and accepts the call.
Hello? Is this Amelae?
No. She is here but unable to speak. Who this? What do you want?
This is Bishop Diez. I wish to speak with Amelae.
Are you unable to understand? She is unable to speak now. I will tell her. What you want?
Tell her, I will make sure no harm comes to her or her mother. I promise this.
I will tell her. It is good that the Master finally get you to understand.
You know this Master?
Yes.
Who is he?
You mean ‘What is he?’
Yes.
He say to us, he not God. I know he not the Devil. He stop evil against me. I think he is God, but he say I am wrong. He say he not give life, or take it. Maybe that true. I not know. But I know he save me from death by others.
What does he look like?
He is fog.
Fog? Not smoke? No fire?
Just fog. No smell. No fire.
You do not smell sulfur?
No, not smell anything.
Do you see him often?
No.
Do you pray to him?
No! He not allow it. He say that is foolish.
What does he require of you?
He required I sell him my soul.
What does he promise you?
Safety, protection.
That it? Nothing more?
He wants us to be happy and have a long life.
And for that you are willing to burn in hell for eternity?
You are a fool. The sale we make promises that there is no Hell and no burning. That the sale not valid if that not true. That is in writing.
There was a contract?
Yes. He require I read it all before I sign it. It clear. He not get my soul if there is a Devil or Hell.
It must be a trick!
You are a fool. No trick. Believe what you want. I not care. Just be careful what you say. Master will be very angry with you if harm come to Amelae or her mother. Of this I am sure. He not care if all priests everywhere die. But he care about those two.
He tell you that? He say he will kill all priests?
No. He say he not take life. But others may.
All priests?
I not know. I only guessing. I just know, Master will be very angry.
Yes, I see. Please tell Amelae. She is safe.
OK I do that.
Erlyn ends the call and puts the phone down. I do OK, Master?
Yes, you did fine. Fog is better than smoke! You did fine and you are correct. It anything bad happens to you girls, I will be very angry.
Master?
Yes Amelae?
You really kill all the priests?
No. First, I don’t kill. Second, I have no way to even set about to discover all who are priests. I am not that powerful.
Good. Master, please try. No deaths.
OK, I will try, but I cannot promise.
Amelae reaches out and hugs me. Erlyn smiles.
We are still sitting on the couch when the front door opens and Mirafe walks in. She sees us as she is removing her clothing, smiles a wan smile, and upon completion comes towards me, and honors me before sitting down next to me.
It didn’t go well, I gather.
It go very bad for my family. I ask all to meet with me.
I was aware of this, from the texts I saw yesterday. There was fear and anger expressed from what I read.
What happened?
I have Nanay, Tatay1, my brothers, sisters, and my titos there. I explain what happen before with the taxes and how I get help to fix this. But then I tell them what Tatay do again. Tatay try to hit me. My Tito Roland, he protect me. He hit Tatay. He curse Tatay and Nanay. … Tito Elmer, he get very angry. He ask why he not told of this? There is much screaming. Tatay is drunk already when we start the meeting. My Titos tell Tatay and Nanay to leave the land alone. They take it back. Nanay screams at me. She asks, ‘Am I happy?’ I scream back, ‘Why you allow your asawa2 to be a drunk?’ Tito Roland take me to his house to sleep last night. It too late to come here then. … Nanay come to Roland late last night. She say, she kick Tatay out. Please let her farm the land. She make sure the taxes are paid. Tito say no. She pay the money to him. He pay the taxes. He say if he go back and find Tatay, then she must leave. He say he only say OK because of the children. Nanay tell me to never come to her again. Then she leave. Tito say, I am welcome in his house. I am good for telling the truth and protecting him. Master, I am tired, dirty, hungry and sad. May I go na?
Yes, do what you need.
From the couch three of us watch Mirafe walk off. I guess she is going to shower. Amelae is looking at me as if I had failed again. Has Erlyn read the same expression the same way? I am wondering what I should say when Erlyn says what I really cannot.
Friend, he protect you and your mother because she do no wrong. But he not protect Dany or my mother. What happens to them is what they do to themselves. Same now. Same with Mirafe’s mother and father. He helps Mirafe, but he cannot stop her parents from their own failings. They do this to themselves. Mirafe do the right thing. She protect her uncles. They do no wrong. Mirafe do what Master do. He help the deserving. He allow those not deserving to get what they do to themselves. Your Master, he is good. Do not be angry. Do not be sad for people who would hurt you.
Amelae nods but says nothing for minutes. And then in a small voice she asks me to take them to my bed.
Who, Amelae?
Erlyn and me.
I can’t say I saw that coming. But I wasn’t trying to see, either. My mind was otherwise engaged. I get up. Amelae does the same and pulls Erlyn up too.
Erlyn has not been in my private rooms, but Amelae has decided this is the time to remedy that. She stands by the locked door, waiting for me to unlock it. I do as she wants, and we enter the hallway. As we pass my office and work area, Amelae is pulling Erlyn, but Erlyn pulls Amelae back. She is looking into that room.
Master, what you do here?
I watch what is said between people. That is one of the things I do.
You can see things here that no one can see?
No, everything I can see here, someone can see.
OK I think I ask wrong. Master, maybe one person can see this part, and she points to a monitor, and maybe some other person can see that part, and she points to another monitor, but maybe no one sees everything. True?
True.
How many different things you see at once?
Maybe a dozen or more.
Hala3! OK, I see. Yes I see. You see things others not see. I hear on TV some say we no longer have any privacy. I say, how that? But now I see. It true. I think this how you see things we not see.
Yes, it is.
But this not all your power. I know it. You cannot use this to open a lock. This one of your tools, it not all.
Friend Amelae, you see this before?
Maybe a little. But I not understand it like you. Why you know this?
A friend, he a hacker, steal credit card stuff. I see screens like this before, but they tiny, not like this. Master? That screen, it showing texts from someone who is asking for guards. You see it?
I do. It is the bishop’s cell. The text is to his secretary.
Yes, I see it.
Who the guards for?
I walk over and scroll through the message history. It is the bishop. He has instructed his secretary to have guards placed at Amelae’s mother’s house. The guards are to be there twenty-four hours a day to protect the woman. The bishop is saying she must be kept safe, or all their lives are in jeopardy. … I point to another screen. Here is the secretary contacting someone, maybe a security service, inquiring about getting some guards. … Yes they are agreeing. They ask how soon to begin. The answer is right now. They say they can get someone there by six tonight, but not sooner. It is agreed to. … Ah here the secretary is contacting someone else. He is asking someone if they can provide protection immediately until this evening. … OK, the answer is yes. Oh! It must be the police. A PNP officer will be dispatched right away.
Amelae calls her mother. ‘Nay, is there a policeman at the house?
Sige sige, I think one will come. And later security guards. They will be there to keep you safe. … What? Ok. Good.
Master, a PNP officer drives up when I am talking. Master, it is scary being in God’s computer room.
I am not God!
How not? No human can do this!
Yes they can.
See, you are not human, you say ‘they.’
Oh, good grief. Let’s go to the bedroom.
Amelae hops up on the bed. Erlyn is in no condition to hop. She really is in a lot of pain. Sex with her is completely out of the question, but we can be close. I am not sure what Amelae is thinking we will do with Erlyn here. Evidently, she thinks she does. Master, why are you still dressed. In your bedroom we are all naked! You too!
Amelae, there is no way Erlyn can have sex and it is not nice for us to do that when she can’t join in.
Master, please get your clothing off. I know maybe I am not smart like Erlyn, but I am not stupid.
I start undressing. The two are whispering to each other. Now naked, I get on the bed with the two and am summarily pushed onto my back. It seems like they have no problem pushing god around. A pillow is placed under my head. Erlyn’s shirt, folded a bit, is placed over my head as the two giggle.
The next thing I know is that one of them is giving me head while the other is sucking my balls. I am enjoying the experience and relaxing when she who is giving me head moves around and while still taking me down, must have positioned her cunt over my mouth and nose. Her cunt is dripping juices on my face, through the shirt. The aroma of her cunt is impossible to ignore.
They keep this up for quite a while. Though I am hard and enjoying it immensely, I have not cum.
The mouth on my shaft pulls up and the mouth on my balls relinquishes its position. The shirt covering my face is removed just in time for a cunt to cover it. A cunt covers my shaft.
I am pretty sure at this point I know who is who. I decide to eat out Erlyn’s cunt as well as I can, given my current position. I am afraid to reach up and accidently grab Erlyn’s wound. Maybe that is why I am not ready to cum, but just like before, having Amelae on top isn’t getting me off. We keep this up for a good amount of time, before both seem to give out. I am rock hard and needing a release. It just doesn’t work for me in that position. Since I have given Erlyn a good eating out, I guess I don’t feel as bad now, leaving her on the sideline as I roll Amelae on her back and give her a missionary position good fucking.
A few minutes later I put my cum in Amelae’s cunt, for the second time today. Now exhausted I slide them both under the covers with me and just rest. My mind is drifting. I am wondering down paths far from these girls and this room when Amelae tells Erlyn that this is their bedroom now.
What? Wait? No… I said I would think about that. I said I wanted both of them to know what was happening in the rooms, not make this their bedroom.
Amelae?
Master?
When did I say that this is your bedroom?
You not. I say it.
And this is your right to say it?
You say me and Erlyn to be back here to take care of you. Correct?
Yes, something like that.
So how we do it if this is not where we are? Master, you need us here.
Erlyn needs more rest for a while. This is not a good thing for her right now. Yes I said I wanted you to both he back here on occasion, but it is too soon for Erlyn.
OK, I wrong. Sorry.
Not completely wrong, but too soon. And there are four of you in the house. One isn’t part of us yet, and another didn’t need to see the work room like I needed you and Erlyn to see it. All who stay and sell their soul will be back here, sometimes. OK?
Sige.
Good. Now let’s go and see how Mirafe is doing.
Sige.
The two leave. I dress before leaving. Before I return to the main part of the house I check my screens. Amelae, Erlyn, and Mirafe’s church is having a bit of indigestion. They have lost three of the pastors who are directly responsible for their cadre of youthful solicitors. Plus now they realize that they have lost track of three of their girls. Six people gone. Three of whom are in jail and three of whom are simply not to be found.
They have texted Amelae’s mother, but she isn’t talking to anyone now. She is simply not responding. They text Erlyn’s mom, but that call is going nowhere, as the woman is dead. A text to Mirafe’s mother produces a reply that is unhelpful to the church as she has been essentially disowned and told to never show her face again, and that is pretty much what the mom texts back.
Three texts and no useful information. That has the congregation a little off its game. Nice to know. Aina is not one of theirs. Both Mirafe and Amelae knew her, but not from the church.
This is not something that requires anything from me now. But it is something I need to watch.
There is nothing on the issue of Amelae and her mother. The matter of Erlyn’s family appears to have found a conclusion. The matter of Mirafe is not over but it is no longer an issue for her.
I exit the work area and go to rejoin all four girls. There is food on the table and what appears to be a conference in progress. I hang back. They have not seen me. The meeting appears to be a lessons learned gathering.
At the moment, Mirafe is detailing how she has learned that there is only so much you can do for another. They either want to accept that change needs to come or they won’t change. Erlyn laughs and says, yes and she is a prime example. Aina asks why and Erlyn goes into what happened with her in detail. Her detail is far more critical of her own actions and understanding of mine, than I think is warranted, but as it is her story, who am I, to have the last word on the matter?
Aina says she does not have that type of problem. All seem to agree, that with her, it was simply a matter of an evil priest. And then she says something that sends Amelae a bit into a dark place. Aina mentions that no one killed her priest and nothing bad seems to have happened to him. Why, she wonders, did three of the priest involved with Amelae need to die?
Amelae is beginning to cry. It is time my presence is known. Because Aina, your priest went away and he did not threaten you once we contacted you. In Amelae’s case, her life and the life of her mother were at stake. There is a real, and meaningful, difference. … Aina, how do you feel?
Alive? Ninong, I feel alive for the first time in a long time. I can breathe again. I do not shake. My stomach is not fighting with me. Sleep feels good, but waking up feels better. I feel alive.
Good. You are still far too malnourished, but you look better. It makes me very happy.
Ninong, when am I allowed to join you? It feels weird. I wear clothing and they do not. Maybe it should be them who are embarrassed. But they not and I am.
It’s too soon, Aina. Get healthy first.
But I am ready!
No you are not. Your body is not ready to carry a child. When it is, you can join and not before?
A child? You will give me a child? Ninong, I am a virgin.
And when you join, if you join, you will no longer be a virgin. Understood?
The others? They will carry a child from you?
Yes.
All of us?
All who join, yes. You may not want to join. The others needed to. You really do not need to. You just needed to get out of the mess you were in and get healthy. I want your soul, but it is up to you to sell it. No one will force you.
I get looks from the others. I did force Amelae and she is about to say something but Erlyn twists her wrist and tells her to shut up.
English Novel - Soul by very well aged
Re: English Novel - Soul by very well aged
Chapter 12: Say the word.
Erlyn that hurts!
Friend, why you think he make you join? Yes, he force you, but you were doing evil! Aina not do that!
Oh! The soliciting! Yes, I see. It me doing evil, but I change because he make it happen. Aina never do evil. It different. Same with me and Mirafe. Mirafe fight joining. Master make it happen.
Tama1.
Amelae, you, Mirafe, and Erlyn were engaged in a scam. That is, in my eyes, evil. Aina was not engaged in anything evil. So yes, I did force you. I forced you to stop doing evil. To do that, I forced you to sell me your soul. Was it unfair? You be the judge. Have I helped you, and as far as you are concerned, have I helped your mother?
Yes, OK. I see.
Good. Aina, if you decide to not join me, the only thing I require is that you never mention my existence to anyone.
Ninong, how long do I have before I need to make the decision?
It ends when you are ready to join. If you are ready but unwilling, you must leave.
How do I repay you for what you do if I not stay?
You repay by never speaking of us to anyone, ever.
That it?
Yes, that is it.
What if the priest returns?
Tell him to get lost.
But he will tell me that I will go to Hell? What then?
Aina, is there a Hell?
Not if I am with you, Ninong.
Erlyn?
Master?
Erlyn, is there a Hell for anyone?
Master, Hell does not exist. If anyone say it, they are wrong.
Aina, priests are professional liars.
All?
Yes.
Bishops too?
Yes.
The Archbishop?
Yes.
The Holy Father, the Pope?
Very much, yes.
Why they lie?
They say, there is a Heaven. They say there is a Hell. They say Jesus is the Son of God. They say that if you pray to Jesus and do good works, you will go to Heaven. They say there is a God. Aina, not one of those things is true.
None Ninong?
None Aina.
You really sure?
Yes. I know it.
How you know, Ninong?
Erlyn is about ready to slap the girl… and then she does just that! She slaps Aina, and says, Bobo ka, talaga!2 He is God!
Erlyn! Stop saying that!
Amelae is thinking, I can hear it. No, Erlyn, he is not God. There is no God, not like what they teach us. Right Master? I nod. Erlyn, Master is powerful, and not human, but he not God. Remember what he teach us. He say he not allowed to create life. He not allowed to take life because of the rules. I think if there were no rules, maybe he could do both. But for humans, he is not a God to us. I not know what Master is. I think he must be divine, but that all I think. I think he is telling us that there cannot be a god, because of the rules. That why the priests must be lying. Master, please tell Aina about the game and the flood. Maybe she will understand.
You tell her Amelae. Erlyn, you listen again too. You need to stop thinking I am God.
Then how you save my life?
OK, listen closely. I am allowed to protect the lives of those who have already formally sold me their souls. You see, if they die, they are already mine. So it makes no difference if they die or I protect them, so they can live longer. But the power of mine to save a life can only be used for those who sell their souls and for whom the potential cause of death is not natural. It’s in the rules. For me it means that there are only three of you, who live with me, right now, for whom I can provide some accident insurance. But I have to be aware of it before it happens. If you die, I cannot bring you back. If I am thinking about how good the Marang tastes, while you fall off a cliff, well, you fall off the cliff, because I was thinking of something else.
So you were thinking of me?
Yes. I heard you.
You opened the lock!
No.
What?
I didn’t.
Then how?
You did that yourself.
I didn’t touch it! I not do it.
Yes you did. I told Amelae, I didn’t tell you this. The divine is in all of us, not in Jesus. There is no path to God. You are the closest thing to God that there is. The power, the goodness, it exists in us. I simply helped you find the divine inside of you. It was your power as you looked at the lock that opened it. Not me. I cannot do that. I am not divine more than are you. All of you are divine. I am simply a collector of souls and I inhabit, and I live as, a human.
I get up from the table and leave them. I need to be alone. I miss Francine.
My study is a sanctuary, a place where I can sit and relax. But I am anything but relaxed. Wound up, tense, on edge, are far better descriptors. I want to reach out to Francine but do not want to alarm her. Skype is out of the question. I send her a simple SMS. Miss you.
Just three minutes later I get a text back. Miss you too. You OK?
Of course. I am OK.
No, Dad, I think there is something wrong.
The texts stop and a Skype request replaces the text messaging.
What is it, Dad? What’s wrong?
You know what it is. I miss your mother.
Dad. Sorry. I know. You think of me and then you always think of her. But Dad?
Yes?
I am glad you still love her.
Why are you glad? If I didn’t maybe she would be alive today.
If you didn’t, would I be the same daughter to you that I am today? Would we be as close? Would you mean as much to me? Dad, let go. She loved you. And she gave you, me.
Francine, how many times have we repeated this rosary of yours?
You are the very best Dad a daughter ever had! I mean, there really isn’t another you in all the universe! And knowing that even the best Dad that there is, isn’t perfect, is maybe the best gift any father can give his daughter!
Ha! Good one. OK. That actually helped.
Good! So now I get to piss you off by asking the question you really don’t want to hear.
And that is?
Dad, it’s been years. You need to find another girl!
And that is supposed to piss me off?
Always has until now? What’s up, big guy?
Well, I may have found three, or four.
What? EXPLAIN!
Hummm, now, I am not sure I really want to explain all this to my daughter.
Why not, greatest Dad in the world? You hiding something?
No, not from you. Not really.
So?
OK… well, remember the well-dressed beggar at Mickey-D’s?
Yup, sure do. And Dad, it’s McDo here. Remember?
Huh, yeh. OK well remember him? To be honest…
Oh! I know! It pissed you off. You don’t like scamming for a church which is scamming to begin with. But maybe a double scam was just too much. Right?
Right. Exactly on the money.
Oh, such a bad joke! I didn’t think your divine presence did double, double entendres.
Well I do, so there! Anyway it bothered me.
And?
About ten days ago, a girl came up to me as I was eating at Yellow Cab.
You ate out, by yourself? What has come over you?
You are in good form today, missy! Anyway, she tried to pull that with me.
Let me guess. You had already researched the church, because I told you the name of it… and you knew all the personnel attached to it because you wanted to rain on their parade. And Dad… you weren’t really at Yellow Cab by accident. You were phishing! So what did you do to ‘miss, I wish I had chosen another table?’
I bought her soul.
Dad?
Yes?
You are serious?
Yes.
OK, I think I need a second to get this news digested, because I think you are going to tell me you have bought ‘three or four’ souls. Right?
Yes.
Dad, do they know who you are?
No, not completely.
Well if they don’t know, do they think you are the Devil, or God?
It has crossed their minds. I have told them often and emphatically that I am not.
Do they believe you?
No, I don’t think they do.
I don’t have to ask if they are safe. Do they understand how lucky they are?
Three of them do, and I think they will be with me for decades to come.
Good. I am happy to hear that. What about the fourth.
Time will tell. She’s a good kid. I got her out of a mess, but she had done no wrong and didn’t need to protect anyone. So it is unclear if she will stay.
So I am going to get three or four siblings! Finally I will not be an only child!
Very funny.
I want to meet them. Do they even know I exist?
One or two do, in a way, but not fully.
OK, names, ages and all the dirt. I want to know how you met them and how you got them to agree.
For the next hour I give Francine the story. With Erlyn I take Francine through Erlyn returning to the house after being shot.
Dad when did the thing with the lock occur?
Why?
Because I felt it. I am sure of it. I felt a pulse from you. It’s what I felt as a child only once before.
When was the last time?
When Mom died. Dad, it was the same feeling. I could feel you pushing. I thought you were dreaming of Mom. … Dad, I don’t want to meet them via Skype. I want to meet them in person when we do meet. I don’t have any time off right now. But I will come home as soon as I can. Will you please tell them about me? … And Dad, you need to tell them about Mom. You haven’t done that, right? You owe it to them and you owe it to Mom. Dad, did you tell them that their kids will be normal humans?
In what world are you normal? … Yes I told them.
Good. Very good. Now I will not worry that you are lonely! Four! Dad that is amazing.
Maybe three.
No, it will be four. You will see. OK, gotta go now. Love you!
Bye sweetheart.
Say it!
I’ll miss you.
Dad! Say it!
You are my special daughter. I will never let anything bad happen to you. I promise.
You still can’t say it. Dad, you need to get over it.
OK, bye now.
Bye.
And the connection breaks. The longing feeling is eased, but a new sensation replaces it. I go to my work area, but there is nothing worth noticing in the traffic. Still, something is up. Then I note call logs between one of mine and a girl with a connection at the church. It is time to find out what is brewing.
It doesn’t take long to find out. Amelae has been told that a church official has contacted the police, claiming that three of his congregants may have been kidnapped. This is not a huge problem, but we need to jump on it right away. I give the girls instructions about what to say and who to talk with. I have Erlyn take one extra dose of the pain meds to lessen the obvious gimp in her gait. We drive close, but not to the police station. From there the girls will take a tricycle. Erlyn is wearing a big floppy hat to disguise who she is from being accidently ID’ed by some folks I want to avoid. The corrupt cops I am concerned about, regarding her family, are not posted to this station. But I can’t be sure that they will not see her.
The girls are to walk in and say, ‘we are not victims of a kidnap. We three just don’t want to have anything to do with that creepy church.’ That’s it. Say it and leave.
Nothing is that easy in reality. The cop makes them wait until the big pastor strides in and does his thing, trying to intimidate my girls into returning to his flock. That doesn’t go too well for the guy. As he is trying to say the girls have been brainwashed, they ask if they can press charges against the guy for forcing them to lie by soliciting under false pretenses, for him, and the church. That gets the cops attention. He is about to start taking statements, but leaves for a moment to get assists from others in the station. In those few moments, the pastor and the girls come to an agreement. He will bug off and leave them the fuck alone and they won’t press charges.
When the officer returns, he is informed of the agreement and it appears that it works fine for him. The other way was going to force him to do a great deal of work. Now, he has time to buy a nice fish on his way home for the family tonight.
It works for me. I want to shut the guy down, but not that way. The girls rejoin me, via another tricycle, and we head home.
I am pleased until I check the SMS traffic. Erlyn was spotted but they have no idea where she went. They tracked down the tricycle driver but he dropped them off at a resto-bar. The trail ends there as no one in the resto-bar ever saw them.
However they are now looking for her. I am about to break my promise to Amelae. This will take some time, and I do not have to attend to it at the moment. I rejoin the girls.
Erlyn, you are not to go outside until I tell you it is safe.
Why?
You were spotted and some bad folks are looking for you.
Will they find me?
No.
Amelae looks at me and without any noticeable emotion asks, Will they die?
I hope so. I don’t think there is any other way to keep Erlyn safe. You going to complain?
No. Do it. Keep us safe.
Good.
Ninong?
Yes?
What have these people done that they deserve to die?
They are part of a Shabu drug syndicate and they want to kill Erlyn. It is them or her. We choose her.
Oh. Why you not call the police?
They are the police.
Oh! Oh no! I not understand. Police selling Shabu? Truly?
Yes, truly.
Ninong, if you not take Erlyn’s soul, she is dead already?
Yes.
And if you not do this, she is dead?
Yes.
Is it not a sin to take a life?
Aina, there are two answers to that. First, sin doesn’t exist. For Sin to exist, there has to be a Heaven and a Hell. As there isn’t, Sin can’t exist either. Is protecting a life from evil-doers wrong? No. … Now if you are asking if it is illegal from me to kill someone, my answer is, I will not kill anyone. Neither will I ask anyone to kill another.
Then how they to die?
Their deaths will be by those who live in the same evil sewer that they swim in. Bad guys will kill bad guys. It happens all the time.
Where will their souls go?
Probably to me. After all, they are bad guys.
Mirafe is a little frustrated. Aina, it is like we told you. He gets the creeps, but that doesn’t mean he likes creeps. He protects us. If you stay, he will protect you. He won’t ask, ‘is Aina worth protecting today,’ he will protect you. Period. Others he doesn’t protect. In all the world there are only three he protects now. The question is, will there be a fourth?
And that is a beautiful segue that I would be a fool to ignore.
Actually there are four now. The question is, will there be a fifth?
That produces silence and stares.
My daughter. I have a daughter. I protect her.
Erlyn asks, Where is she?
At school in Manila. Adamson University.
How old she? She our age?
She is your age Erlyn. She is sixteen. This is her freshman year.
She know about us?
Yes.
What she know?
Everything.
All?
All.
What her name?
Francine.
Nice name. What you call her?
Oh, I call her many things. Sweetheart, knucklehead, beautiful, daughter, and Francine.
Her mother, your wife?
No.
You buy her soul, like us?
Yes.
Where she, the mother, now?
Dead.
How?
I was distracted. I allowed myself to not see what I should have seen.
You screwed up! You were supposed to protect her and you failed!
Yes.
How that happen?
She said, 'Please, if you love me, no more die.'
And you allowed someone to live?
Yes.
Because you loved her so much that you didn’t do what you must to protect her?
Yes!
Like me and Dany?
Yes. Like you and Dany.
So it not only because you are smarter. It because you know that love blinds.
Yes.
Mirafe has been patiently waiting to ask, Do you love Francine, Master?
I miss her greatly when she is gone. There is a hole in my world when she is not here.
Do you love her?
I care for her deeply.
Does she ask you, if you love her?
Yes.
What you say then?
I tell her she is the most important person in my world and I will never let anything happen to her.
Ha! I bet she say, ‘Still can’t say the word, Dad?’
Yes, that is what she says.
Erlyn that hurts!
Friend, why you think he make you join? Yes, he force you, but you were doing evil! Aina not do that!
Oh! The soliciting! Yes, I see. It me doing evil, but I change because he make it happen. Aina never do evil. It different. Same with me and Mirafe. Mirafe fight joining. Master make it happen.
Tama1.
Amelae, you, Mirafe, and Erlyn were engaged in a scam. That is, in my eyes, evil. Aina was not engaged in anything evil. So yes, I did force you. I forced you to stop doing evil. To do that, I forced you to sell me your soul. Was it unfair? You be the judge. Have I helped you, and as far as you are concerned, have I helped your mother?
Yes, OK. I see.
Good. Aina, if you decide to not join me, the only thing I require is that you never mention my existence to anyone.
Ninong, how long do I have before I need to make the decision?
It ends when you are ready to join. If you are ready but unwilling, you must leave.
How do I repay you for what you do if I not stay?
You repay by never speaking of us to anyone, ever.
That it?
Yes, that is it.
What if the priest returns?
Tell him to get lost.
But he will tell me that I will go to Hell? What then?
Aina, is there a Hell?
Not if I am with you, Ninong.
Erlyn?
Master?
Erlyn, is there a Hell for anyone?
Master, Hell does not exist. If anyone say it, they are wrong.
Aina, priests are professional liars.
All?
Yes.
Bishops too?
Yes.
The Archbishop?
Yes.
The Holy Father, the Pope?
Very much, yes.
Why they lie?
They say, there is a Heaven. They say there is a Hell. They say Jesus is the Son of God. They say that if you pray to Jesus and do good works, you will go to Heaven. They say there is a God. Aina, not one of those things is true.
None Ninong?
None Aina.
You really sure?
Yes. I know it.
How you know, Ninong?
Erlyn is about ready to slap the girl… and then she does just that! She slaps Aina, and says, Bobo ka, talaga!2 He is God!
Erlyn! Stop saying that!
Amelae is thinking, I can hear it. No, Erlyn, he is not God. There is no God, not like what they teach us. Right Master? I nod. Erlyn, Master is powerful, and not human, but he not God. Remember what he teach us. He say he not allowed to create life. He not allowed to take life because of the rules. I think if there were no rules, maybe he could do both. But for humans, he is not a God to us. I not know what Master is. I think he must be divine, but that all I think. I think he is telling us that there cannot be a god, because of the rules. That why the priests must be lying. Master, please tell Aina about the game and the flood. Maybe she will understand.
You tell her Amelae. Erlyn, you listen again too. You need to stop thinking I am God.
Then how you save my life?
OK, listen closely. I am allowed to protect the lives of those who have already formally sold me their souls. You see, if they die, they are already mine. So it makes no difference if they die or I protect them, so they can live longer. But the power of mine to save a life can only be used for those who sell their souls and for whom the potential cause of death is not natural. It’s in the rules. For me it means that there are only three of you, who live with me, right now, for whom I can provide some accident insurance. But I have to be aware of it before it happens. If you die, I cannot bring you back. If I am thinking about how good the Marang tastes, while you fall off a cliff, well, you fall off the cliff, because I was thinking of something else.
So you were thinking of me?
Yes. I heard you.
You opened the lock!
No.
What?
I didn’t.
Then how?
You did that yourself.
I didn’t touch it! I not do it.
Yes you did. I told Amelae, I didn’t tell you this. The divine is in all of us, not in Jesus. There is no path to God. You are the closest thing to God that there is. The power, the goodness, it exists in us. I simply helped you find the divine inside of you. It was your power as you looked at the lock that opened it. Not me. I cannot do that. I am not divine more than are you. All of you are divine. I am simply a collector of souls and I inhabit, and I live as, a human.
I get up from the table and leave them. I need to be alone. I miss Francine.
My study is a sanctuary, a place where I can sit and relax. But I am anything but relaxed. Wound up, tense, on edge, are far better descriptors. I want to reach out to Francine but do not want to alarm her. Skype is out of the question. I send her a simple SMS. Miss you.
Just three minutes later I get a text back. Miss you too. You OK?
Of course. I am OK.
No, Dad, I think there is something wrong.
The texts stop and a Skype request replaces the text messaging.
What is it, Dad? What’s wrong?
You know what it is. I miss your mother.
Dad. Sorry. I know. You think of me and then you always think of her. But Dad?
Yes?
I am glad you still love her.
Why are you glad? If I didn’t maybe she would be alive today.
If you didn’t, would I be the same daughter to you that I am today? Would we be as close? Would you mean as much to me? Dad, let go. She loved you. And she gave you, me.
Francine, how many times have we repeated this rosary of yours?
You are the very best Dad a daughter ever had! I mean, there really isn’t another you in all the universe! And knowing that even the best Dad that there is, isn’t perfect, is maybe the best gift any father can give his daughter!
Ha! Good one. OK. That actually helped.
Good! So now I get to piss you off by asking the question you really don’t want to hear.
And that is?
Dad, it’s been years. You need to find another girl!
And that is supposed to piss me off?
Always has until now? What’s up, big guy?
Well, I may have found three, or four.
What? EXPLAIN!
Hummm, now, I am not sure I really want to explain all this to my daughter.
Why not, greatest Dad in the world? You hiding something?
No, not from you. Not really.
So?
OK… well, remember the well-dressed beggar at Mickey-D’s?
Yup, sure do. And Dad, it’s McDo here. Remember?
Huh, yeh. OK well remember him? To be honest…
Oh! I know! It pissed you off. You don’t like scamming for a church which is scamming to begin with. But maybe a double scam was just too much. Right?
Right. Exactly on the money.
Oh, such a bad joke! I didn’t think your divine presence did double, double entendres.
Well I do, so there! Anyway it bothered me.
And?
About ten days ago, a girl came up to me as I was eating at Yellow Cab.
You ate out, by yourself? What has come over you?
You are in good form today, missy! Anyway, she tried to pull that with me.
Let me guess. You had already researched the church, because I told you the name of it… and you knew all the personnel attached to it because you wanted to rain on their parade. And Dad… you weren’t really at Yellow Cab by accident. You were phishing! So what did you do to ‘miss, I wish I had chosen another table?’
I bought her soul.
Dad?
Yes?
You are serious?
Yes.
OK, I think I need a second to get this news digested, because I think you are going to tell me you have bought ‘three or four’ souls. Right?
Yes.
Dad, do they know who you are?
No, not completely.
Well if they don’t know, do they think you are the Devil, or God?
It has crossed their minds. I have told them often and emphatically that I am not.
Do they believe you?
No, I don’t think they do.
I don’t have to ask if they are safe. Do they understand how lucky they are?
Three of them do, and I think they will be with me for decades to come.
Good. I am happy to hear that. What about the fourth.
Time will tell. She’s a good kid. I got her out of a mess, but she had done no wrong and didn’t need to protect anyone. So it is unclear if she will stay.
So I am going to get three or four siblings! Finally I will not be an only child!
Very funny.
I want to meet them. Do they even know I exist?
One or two do, in a way, but not fully.
OK, names, ages and all the dirt. I want to know how you met them and how you got them to agree.
For the next hour I give Francine the story. With Erlyn I take Francine through Erlyn returning to the house after being shot.
Dad when did the thing with the lock occur?
Why?
Because I felt it. I am sure of it. I felt a pulse from you. It’s what I felt as a child only once before.
When was the last time?
When Mom died. Dad, it was the same feeling. I could feel you pushing. I thought you were dreaming of Mom. … Dad, I don’t want to meet them via Skype. I want to meet them in person when we do meet. I don’t have any time off right now. But I will come home as soon as I can. Will you please tell them about me? … And Dad, you need to tell them about Mom. You haven’t done that, right? You owe it to them and you owe it to Mom. Dad, did you tell them that their kids will be normal humans?
In what world are you normal? … Yes I told them.
Good. Very good. Now I will not worry that you are lonely! Four! Dad that is amazing.
Maybe three.
No, it will be four. You will see. OK, gotta go now. Love you!
Bye sweetheart.
Say it!
I’ll miss you.
Dad! Say it!
You are my special daughter. I will never let anything bad happen to you. I promise.
You still can’t say it. Dad, you need to get over it.
OK, bye now.
Bye.
And the connection breaks. The longing feeling is eased, but a new sensation replaces it. I go to my work area, but there is nothing worth noticing in the traffic. Still, something is up. Then I note call logs between one of mine and a girl with a connection at the church. It is time to find out what is brewing.
It doesn’t take long to find out. Amelae has been told that a church official has contacted the police, claiming that three of his congregants may have been kidnapped. This is not a huge problem, but we need to jump on it right away. I give the girls instructions about what to say and who to talk with. I have Erlyn take one extra dose of the pain meds to lessen the obvious gimp in her gait. We drive close, but not to the police station. From there the girls will take a tricycle. Erlyn is wearing a big floppy hat to disguise who she is from being accidently ID’ed by some folks I want to avoid. The corrupt cops I am concerned about, regarding her family, are not posted to this station. But I can’t be sure that they will not see her.
The girls are to walk in and say, ‘we are not victims of a kidnap. We three just don’t want to have anything to do with that creepy church.’ That’s it. Say it and leave.
Nothing is that easy in reality. The cop makes them wait until the big pastor strides in and does his thing, trying to intimidate my girls into returning to his flock. That doesn’t go too well for the guy. As he is trying to say the girls have been brainwashed, they ask if they can press charges against the guy for forcing them to lie by soliciting under false pretenses, for him, and the church. That gets the cops attention. He is about to start taking statements, but leaves for a moment to get assists from others in the station. In those few moments, the pastor and the girls come to an agreement. He will bug off and leave them the fuck alone and they won’t press charges.
When the officer returns, he is informed of the agreement and it appears that it works fine for him. The other way was going to force him to do a great deal of work. Now, he has time to buy a nice fish on his way home for the family tonight.
It works for me. I want to shut the guy down, but not that way. The girls rejoin me, via another tricycle, and we head home.
I am pleased until I check the SMS traffic. Erlyn was spotted but they have no idea where she went. They tracked down the tricycle driver but he dropped them off at a resto-bar. The trail ends there as no one in the resto-bar ever saw them.
However they are now looking for her. I am about to break my promise to Amelae. This will take some time, and I do not have to attend to it at the moment. I rejoin the girls.
Erlyn, you are not to go outside until I tell you it is safe.
Why?
You were spotted and some bad folks are looking for you.
Will they find me?
No.
Amelae looks at me and without any noticeable emotion asks, Will they die?
I hope so. I don’t think there is any other way to keep Erlyn safe. You going to complain?
No. Do it. Keep us safe.
Good.
Ninong?
Yes?
What have these people done that they deserve to die?
They are part of a Shabu drug syndicate and they want to kill Erlyn. It is them or her. We choose her.
Oh. Why you not call the police?
They are the police.
Oh! Oh no! I not understand. Police selling Shabu? Truly?
Yes, truly.
Ninong, if you not take Erlyn’s soul, she is dead already?
Yes.
And if you not do this, she is dead?
Yes.
Is it not a sin to take a life?
Aina, there are two answers to that. First, sin doesn’t exist. For Sin to exist, there has to be a Heaven and a Hell. As there isn’t, Sin can’t exist either. Is protecting a life from evil-doers wrong? No. … Now if you are asking if it is illegal from me to kill someone, my answer is, I will not kill anyone. Neither will I ask anyone to kill another.
Then how they to die?
Their deaths will be by those who live in the same evil sewer that they swim in. Bad guys will kill bad guys. It happens all the time.
Where will their souls go?
Probably to me. After all, they are bad guys.
Mirafe is a little frustrated. Aina, it is like we told you. He gets the creeps, but that doesn’t mean he likes creeps. He protects us. If you stay, he will protect you. He won’t ask, ‘is Aina worth protecting today,’ he will protect you. Period. Others he doesn’t protect. In all the world there are only three he protects now. The question is, will there be a fourth?
And that is a beautiful segue that I would be a fool to ignore.
Actually there are four now. The question is, will there be a fifth?
That produces silence and stares.
My daughter. I have a daughter. I protect her.
Erlyn asks, Where is she?
At school in Manila. Adamson University.
How old she? She our age?
She is your age Erlyn. She is sixteen. This is her freshman year.
She know about us?
Yes.
What she know?
Everything.
All?
All.
What her name?
Francine.
Nice name. What you call her?
Oh, I call her many things. Sweetheart, knucklehead, beautiful, daughter, and Francine.
Her mother, your wife?
No.
You buy her soul, like us?
Yes.
Where she, the mother, now?
Dead.
How?
I was distracted. I allowed myself to not see what I should have seen.
You screwed up! You were supposed to protect her and you failed!
Yes.
How that happen?
She said, 'Please, if you love me, no more die.'
And you allowed someone to live?
Yes.
Because you loved her so much that you didn’t do what you must to protect her?
Yes!
Like me and Dany?
Yes. Like you and Dany.
So it not only because you are smarter. It because you know that love blinds.
Yes.
Mirafe has been patiently waiting to ask, Do you love Francine, Master?
I miss her greatly when she is gone. There is a hole in my world when she is not here.
Do you love her?
I care for her deeply.
Does she ask you, if you love her?
Yes.
What you say then?
I tell her she is the most important person in my world and I will never let anything happen to her.
Ha! I bet she say, ‘Still can’t say the word, Dad?’
Yes, that is what she says.
Re: English Novel - Soul by very well aged
Chapter 13: Jacobo
It was the same way before. They get under your skin. They learn to tease. They learn that they are really safe and then… oh yes, and then their real personalities emerge from under the shells of fear and deprivation that has followed them all their lives.
Both Mirafe and Erlyn were feisty from the get-go. The fact that they have taken that which was a defensive stance and allowed it to be reinvented as loving, and chiding, is not surprising.
Amelae, is right. She is not as smart as the other two. She is loyal, and I will never lose her, but she isn’t the one to raise her shield, as much as she wants to cuddle and mew. Death simply depresses her. It drains her of happiness.
For Mirafe and Erlyn, death may be necessary and it is to be accepted.
Clearly Mirafe sees it as her mission to get me to find love in my heart. She sees the hurt I carry and wants to pull it out of me and discard it. She is convinced she is right.
Erlyn, I suspect knows exactly why that would be a bad thing. She is not arguing with Mirafe. She doesn’t need to do so. She knows why I am the way I am, and has come to savor it. My telling her to cool her heels while I go about protecting her is not a reason to pout. For her, it is a reason to rejoice.
And yet, acknowledging the differences, they are forging a powerful interdependent relationship. I see no jockeying for position.
When Aina says she can breathe now, she can, but she is still scared. She sees this as a momentary respite and is not at all sure what the coming days will bring. She is in many ways still psychically attached to the abusive priest. I have no idea if she will ever really be able to let go. I have a suspicion that if we go too deep into her head, she might shut down as the Nuns do. Francine may be very wrong about this one. The most charitable thing I might do is lose her and place her in a convent, or as Shakespeare would call it in mocking jest, a Nunnery.
What I am about to do will not upset Mirafe or Erlyn. Amelae, as much as she says she understands, is in some turmoil about it. Aina just can’t wrap her head around why it is necessary. In this, they are far from cohesive.
The cops that noticed Erlyn are with Rykel’s old syndicate. There are cops competing with cops in the thing and working for different drug lords. I watch the SMS traffic for a while and note when the guys I need gone are going to be occupied with a load of Shabu. Using the cell number of a snitch the other cops use, I get the needed info about the Shabu transfer and shipment to those who need to know. They are not good cops. They are very bad cops, but I don’t care which side has the drugs, I need a few guys growing daisy’s above them.
It has taken twelve days of watching and waiting before I am able to put the plan into action. In the meantime, Aina eats and sleeps and watches TV and eats and sleeps. She looks healthier, but is still painfully thin. She needs to add a good eight kilo’s and if she adds it too fast, her heart just might quit on her.
Amelae has wanted to accompany her mother, but I am not allowing it. Her Mom is getting treatment without fees. Her bodyguards are transporting her in an SUV with very dark windows, because they are terrified of her being out in the open. All that needs to happen is some fool to take a pot shot to ruin their days. Visitors to her mother are being searched before they can enter her door. Between the TB and an advanced case of diabetes, her mother is not very mobile anyway.
To fill their time, the girls have started a vegetable garden on my grounds. They are cooking up a storm and cleaning the house so well that I have had to make some adjustments from how things had been done before. I have allowed Amelae and Mirafe to do some reconnaissance on what their old church is up to.
Erlyn has asked me to teach her about some of the surveillance tools I am using. It seems like a good idea and we are spending a lot of time together as I put the current plan in motion. Her wound is healing, but she did lose some muscle as well as skin. Healing completely will not be a fast thing.
Tomorrow is the day that things will resolve for us. However for a cop named Jacobo, the only name I actually learned via the traffic, this Friday is going to be a very bad day. We put the plan in place now, on Thursday.
It is Erlyn who sends the texts. I figure it’s only fair. They want to kill her. They killed her brother and her mother. What is the saying, ‘Payback is Hell’? Now, that is funny. And so my pretty little Devil is giving them their payback. Maybe ‘Payback is a bitch.’ But I just don’t see her as a bitch. No, not a bitch.
At the dinner table, after the texts have been sent, there is a stillness. The food is a bit special. I have a recipe that I picked up many years ago in Mexico. I have it every year on this day, to remind me of the foolishness of conquests and the reality of the fusion of cultures that eventually rise up in spite of the intents of the conquerors. So tonight we silently eat a dish I love, some call it, chicken mole.
In the old days, before Americans decided all holidays should be on Monday, this would have been their Columbus Day. A day to celebrate the guy who didn’t discover America and who never landed on the continent, and whose personal habits resulted in his soul being in my collection. He is one of those guys whose life is so disgusting that I just can’t fathom why he is celebrated. I mean he butchered natives and sold their meat as dog food. Old Chris was a real asshole. And that is why I remember him every October 12th with pollo ‘de mole’ poblano.
But it is awkward tonight. Mirafe mentions that Aina has gained two kilos this week. That’s three kilos in the last twelve days. It’s a lot of weight, and though she needs to gain even more, I ask her to slow down.
Maybe you not want me to gain weight fast because you like me here and not want to see me go!
That is an interesting question. But the answer is that I just want you to be healthy when you leave here.
Amelae is close to apoplectic. Master, why you both say, ‘when she leaves.’ Has this been decided?
No, not for me. It was she who said it first. Ask her if she has made up her mind.
Aina, you decide na? You decide you go?
Hindi. Maybe I just teasing.
Master, you know what is in our minds. Is she teasing?
Why do you think I can read minds?
You can, don’t argue. What she thinking?
Ask her?
I did!
No you didn’t. You asked her if she had made up her mind. Now ask her what she is thinking.
Sige, sige. Friend Aina, what your thought?
I am unsure.
Amelae looks at me. She wants my help. Aina, do you miss Jesus?
Oo, talaga.
OK, Amelae, do you see now?
But there is no Jesus!
OK and how does that matter to Aina, who needs to believe there is a Jesus?
Oh, it like you say. If people want to believe, there is nothing you can do about it. It is free will?
Yes.
That why Aina is needing to leave?
Ask her.
Amelae, takes Aina’s hand and places it above her own breast, on her chest, Friend Amelae, is it true that you reject the teachings of the Master and want to pray to this Jesus, who not really exist?
I know you say Jesus not exist but many others say he does. How I know?
When you pray to Jesus, he do anything to help you?
How I know?
Ask Erlyn what happen when she pray to Master! She know!
Yes, yes, maybe it true. Maybe both Master and Jesus powerful. How I know?
OK, you pray that, … Master what’s the name of that guy who will die?
Jacobo?
Tama! Aina, you pray to your Jesus that he spare Jacobo tomorrow. See what happen.
How I know Jesus not want him dead too?
Aina, you believe in Mumu too?
Oo. You not?
I give up. Get fat and go!
Why you mean to me?
Not mean, but Master save you. Jesus never save you. But you want to believe in a mumu and not a real divine. No helping you!
OK, that’s enough Amelae. There is no reason to argue. Aina has every right to see the world as she needs to see it. I will not try to change it. I like Aina, and have no interest in making her unhappy. If she wants to go, that is fine.
But…
Erlyn breaks in, Amelae, stop. Master say stop, you stop!
Mirafe is playing with her spoon. I can hear the wheels spinning.
OK Mirafe, I know you are afraid to say what is on your mind, but please share it.
Why she need to stay? She not sick. She not at risk of dying. You sent the priest away. She rejects you and still prays to Jesus. Why she here? Yes, she is not ready to carry a child, but if she not staying, she not carrying your child.
As far as I know, Aina has not made up her mind yet. She asked a little less than two weeks ago, how long she had to make up her mind. I told her she had until she was healthy enough to carry my child. She can leave whenever she wants before that. I never said she couldn’t. But I will not kick her out if she hasn’t made up her mind and she isn’t well enough to get pregnant.
Mirafe looks at Aina. If you want Jesus and not Master, I think you have already made up your mind. I think Master is being too kind again. What you think, girl?
I not sure yet. Master is kind. This is true. But Master is also cruel. Some will die tomorrow. This is also true. I know Master is powerful. I taught that Jesus saves souls. I not know what to think right now. I need time.
She does need more time, if only to find the courage to say goodbye to us. I see no point in pushing. She is, in her own way, teaching my girls a great deal about how the world works and why it is so hard to change things.
Mirafe’s brain is bubbling again. Girl, what is the question you are afraid to ask now?
How you do that? It not fair. Why I ask? You know already.
I don’t know. Tell me.
You allow me to be with you tonight?
You may sleep in my bed tonight. I am not sure I will be in it much.
You have to sleep!
Erlyn is giggling, Friend, I slept in his bed last night. I not sure he ever was there. When I go to sleep he was in the work room. When I wake up, he was in the work room. If he come in I not know. If he do me, it must be a miracle, I not feel it!
That gets Amelae and Aina laughing. Mirafe is nonplused. Master, when this is over, maybe you will find time for me?
Yes. That will be nice. And it, will be nice. I do not enjoy this tense period. These things are not easy. We normally allow humans to go about their business uninterrupted. With three billion on the planet, there is really no reason to micromanage. What I am doing is highly unusual. I almost never take souls… well that isn’t true. Over the years I normally take one and stay with her until the years take her. So it is infrequent that I really do any of this type of thing. Once they are with me, I normally don’t have to do anything. Francine’s mother was an exception. To say it caught me by surprise is to state the obvious.
It was easy to love in the past, when there was little need to be always vigilant. But with Francine’s mother, things were different. It taught me to never make that mistake again. How many women, have I had as mates over the many years? I most certainly do not count. I do not want to feel the weight of those good women on my heart all at once and all together. Each was a good companion for decades, then yielding to time and age, giving way sweetly as I always took their pain away.
Each gave me a child. Each child grew up and until Francine, emerged from my roof without ever knowing anything other than I was a good father. I allowed them to see me appear to age along with their mother and at her passing, they were left to understand that I too had passed.
Do I need to be here?
No, I most certainly do not. It’s just that I really don’t like the game. Yes, it is the game we agreed to, but that was a mistake. So as a reminder of the evil created by having the game, I live among those who are the game pieces. This is my penance.
Francine is the weight on my being. She is the loving reminder of my one failure. I cannot afford to forget. And so Francine had to know who I am and how I failed, or the punishment I dole out to myself would be too easily left aside in the passing of time.
If I took but one female again, I might have lulled myself into complacency. I cannot allow that to happen. And so there are three here who are more assuredly now mine. And having three gives me reason to not love any. It is protection. I chose females with difficulties to remind me to be vigilant. I may have chosen too well.
Tonight I will watch and wait. What is going to happen will occur in the very early morning hours. As I watch, Aina is silently praying to her Jesus. She is imploring him to intervene and save lives. She sees it as a test. If her Jesus comes through against this lessor god, she will take it as a sign. What she will do when the guys die, is less certain in her mind. She wants to believe that they will be saved and in that act of redemption find Jesus in their hearts, mending their evil ways.
I could tell her that if they don’t die they will only take it that they were successful and continue on in their evil path, but such logic is beyond her need for faith. There may be may such battles she will see fought in the coming weeks while she gains weight and continues to say she is unsure. I suspect in the end she will go, but free will is just that. I have no way of knowing what she will choose.
Jacobo is the top cop in his region. He strides around in his para-military PNP uniform. He wears a cross which is always visible. In some ways, he sees himself as a modern day Christian Knight crusading against the heathens. He justifies his Shabu activities as that which he must do to finance his holy war. Jacobo the Grand Master of his coterie of modern day knights.
How do I know this? The man is constantly writing to his bishop of his valiant efforts and those who serve under him. He takes selfies of himself in a manner that leaves little to the imagination. I am not reading his mind… I am reading his mail.
And so I am thinking about Jacobo as I scoop up the last of my mole and wait for the early hours of Friday the 13th.
After dinner I kiss each of my three a sweet goodnight, only to find Erlyn unwilling to leave my side. Go to bed. There is nothing for you to do now.
Master, you are not going to bed and the same advice can be given to you. I want to watch with you.
I allow it and am about to leave the others, only to hear Aina ask, May I come too?
No, Aina. Only those who have put their souls in my hands may pass this locked door. You may not enter.
I want to see what happens.
There will be nothing that you will see in there. That is not why we will be there.
What does it matter if you have my soul, to allow me to go in there?
Aina, you are a guest in this house. You are welcome to stay in here. But you are only a guest and have no rights. Do I make myself clear?
Yes. Sorry.
If there comes a time when your soul is mine, you will be back in those rooms often enough. But only if that happens.
Erlyn and I enter, locking the door behind us.
It is a series of long and uneventful hours until three in the morning. Erlyn and I pass the time talking about her life growing up. We talk about the games she played. The candies she liked to eat. The names of the tricycle drivers who her mom trusted and the ones she was to stay away from. We talked about her dreams, and her fears.
At three we start seeing activity, on both ends of the matter. We watch as some assembled and others were in transit. The sun will rise a little after five-thirty, but the sky will lighten at about five-fifteen. All would transpire before that happened.
We wait and watch. I wonder, will Jacobo live long enough to see the dawn break?
It was the same way before. They get under your skin. They learn to tease. They learn that they are really safe and then… oh yes, and then their real personalities emerge from under the shells of fear and deprivation that has followed them all their lives.
Both Mirafe and Erlyn were feisty from the get-go. The fact that they have taken that which was a defensive stance and allowed it to be reinvented as loving, and chiding, is not surprising.
Amelae, is right. She is not as smart as the other two. She is loyal, and I will never lose her, but she isn’t the one to raise her shield, as much as she wants to cuddle and mew. Death simply depresses her. It drains her of happiness.
For Mirafe and Erlyn, death may be necessary and it is to be accepted.
Clearly Mirafe sees it as her mission to get me to find love in my heart. She sees the hurt I carry and wants to pull it out of me and discard it. She is convinced she is right.
Erlyn, I suspect knows exactly why that would be a bad thing. She is not arguing with Mirafe. She doesn’t need to do so. She knows why I am the way I am, and has come to savor it. My telling her to cool her heels while I go about protecting her is not a reason to pout. For her, it is a reason to rejoice.
And yet, acknowledging the differences, they are forging a powerful interdependent relationship. I see no jockeying for position.
When Aina says she can breathe now, she can, but she is still scared. She sees this as a momentary respite and is not at all sure what the coming days will bring. She is in many ways still psychically attached to the abusive priest. I have no idea if she will ever really be able to let go. I have a suspicion that if we go too deep into her head, she might shut down as the Nuns do. Francine may be very wrong about this one. The most charitable thing I might do is lose her and place her in a convent, or as Shakespeare would call it in mocking jest, a Nunnery.
What I am about to do will not upset Mirafe or Erlyn. Amelae, as much as she says she understands, is in some turmoil about it. Aina just can’t wrap her head around why it is necessary. In this, they are far from cohesive.
The cops that noticed Erlyn are with Rykel’s old syndicate. There are cops competing with cops in the thing and working for different drug lords. I watch the SMS traffic for a while and note when the guys I need gone are going to be occupied with a load of Shabu. Using the cell number of a snitch the other cops use, I get the needed info about the Shabu transfer and shipment to those who need to know. They are not good cops. They are very bad cops, but I don’t care which side has the drugs, I need a few guys growing daisy’s above them.
It has taken twelve days of watching and waiting before I am able to put the plan into action. In the meantime, Aina eats and sleeps and watches TV and eats and sleeps. She looks healthier, but is still painfully thin. She needs to add a good eight kilo’s and if she adds it too fast, her heart just might quit on her.
Amelae has wanted to accompany her mother, but I am not allowing it. Her Mom is getting treatment without fees. Her bodyguards are transporting her in an SUV with very dark windows, because they are terrified of her being out in the open. All that needs to happen is some fool to take a pot shot to ruin their days. Visitors to her mother are being searched before they can enter her door. Between the TB and an advanced case of diabetes, her mother is not very mobile anyway.
To fill their time, the girls have started a vegetable garden on my grounds. They are cooking up a storm and cleaning the house so well that I have had to make some adjustments from how things had been done before. I have allowed Amelae and Mirafe to do some reconnaissance on what their old church is up to.
Erlyn has asked me to teach her about some of the surveillance tools I am using. It seems like a good idea and we are spending a lot of time together as I put the current plan in motion. Her wound is healing, but she did lose some muscle as well as skin. Healing completely will not be a fast thing.
Tomorrow is the day that things will resolve for us. However for a cop named Jacobo, the only name I actually learned via the traffic, this Friday is going to be a very bad day. We put the plan in place now, on Thursday.
It is Erlyn who sends the texts. I figure it’s only fair. They want to kill her. They killed her brother and her mother. What is the saying, ‘Payback is Hell’? Now, that is funny. And so my pretty little Devil is giving them their payback. Maybe ‘Payback is a bitch.’ But I just don’t see her as a bitch. No, not a bitch.
At the dinner table, after the texts have been sent, there is a stillness. The food is a bit special. I have a recipe that I picked up many years ago in Mexico. I have it every year on this day, to remind me of the foolishness of conquests and the reality of the fusion of cultures that eventually rise up in spite of the intents of the conquerors. So tonight we silently eat a dish I love, some call it, chicken mole.
In the old days, before Americans decided all holidays should be on Monday, this would have been their Columbus Day. A day to celebrate the guy who didn’t discover America and who never landed on the continent, and whose personal habits resulted in his soul being in my collection. He is one of those guys whose life is so disgusting that I just can’t fathom why he is celebrated. I mean he butchered natives and sold their meat as dog food. Old Chris was a real asshole. And that is why I remember him every October 12th with pollo ‘de mole’ poblano.
But it is awkward tonight. Mirafe mentions that Aina has gained two kilos this week. That’s three kilos in the last twelve days. It’s a lot of weight, and though she needs to gain even more, I ask her to slow down.
Maybe you not want me to gain weight fast because you like me here and not want to see me go!
That is an interesting question. But the answer is that I just want you to be healthy when you leave here.
Amelae is close to apoplectic. Master, why you both say, ‘when she leaves.’ Has this been decided?
No, not for me. It was she who said it first. Ask her if she has made up her mind.
Aina, you decide na? You decide you go?
Hindi. Maybe I just teasing.
Master, you know what is in our minds. Is she teasing?
Why do you think I can read minds?
You can, don’t argue. What she thinking?
Ask her?
I did!
No you didn’t. You asked her if she had made up her mind. Now ask her what she is thinking.
Sige, sige. Friend Aina, what your thought?
I am unsure.
Amelae looks at me. She wants my help. Aina, do you miss Jesus?
Oo, talaga.
OK, Amelae, do you see now?
But there is no Jesus!
OK and how does that matter to Aina, who needs to believe there is a Jesus?
Oh, it like you say. If people want to believe, there is nothing you can do about it. It is free will?
Yes.
That why Aina is needing to leave?
Ask her.
Amelae, takes Aina’s hand and places it above her own breast, on her chest, Friend Amelae, is it true that you reject the teachings of the Master and want to pray to this Jesus, who not really exist?
I know you say Jesus not exist but many others say he does. How I know?
When you pray to Jesus, he do anything to help you?
How I know?
Ask Erlyn what happen when she pray to Master! She know!
Yes, yes, maybe it true. Maybe both Master and Jesus powerful. How I know?
OK, you pray that, … Master what’s the name of that guy who will die?
Jacobo?
Tama! Aina, you pray to your Jesus that he spare Jacobo tomorrow. See what happen.
How I know Jesus not want him dead too?
Aina, you believe in Mumu too?
Oo. You not?
I give up. Get fat and go!
Why you mean to me?
Not mean, but Master save you. Jesus never save you. But you want to believe in a mumu and not a real divine. No helping you!
OK, that’s enough Amelae. There is no reason to argue. Aina has every right to see the world as she needs to see it. I will not try to change it. I like Aina, and have no interest in making her unhappy. If she wants to go, that is fine.
But…
Erlyn breaks in, Amelae, stop. Master say stop, you stop!
Mirafe is playing with her spoon. I can hear the wheels spinning.
OK Mirafe, I know you are afraid to say what is on your mind, but please share it.
Why she need to stay? She not sick. She not at risk of dying. You sent the priest away. She rejects you and still prays to Jesus. Why she here? Yes, she is not ready to carry a child, but if she not staying, she not carrying your child.
As far as I know, Aina has not made up her mind yet. She asked a little less than two weeks ago, how long she had to make up her mind. I told her she had until she was healthy enough to carry my child. She can leave whenever she wants before that. I never said she couldn’t. But I will not kick her out if she hasn’t made up her mind and she isn’t well enough to get pregnant.
Mirafe looks at Aina. If you want Jesus and not Master, I think you have already made up your mind. I think Master is being too kind again. What you think, girl?
I not sure yet. Master is kind. This is true. But Master is also cruel. Some will die tomorrow. This is also true. I know Master is powerful. I taught that Jesus saves souls. I not know what to think right now. I need time.
She does need more time, if only to find the courage to say goodbye to us. I see no point in pushing. She is, in her own way, teaching my girls a great deal about how the world works and why it is so hard to change things.
Mirafe’s brain is bubbling again. Girl, what is the question you are afraid to ask now?
How you do that? It not fair. Why I ask? You know already.
I don’t know. Tell me.
You allow me to be with you tonight?
You may sleep in my bed tonight. I am not sure I will be in it much.
You have to sleep!
Erlyn is giggling, Friend, I slept in his bed last night. I not sure he ever was there. When I go to sleep he was in the work room. When I wake up, he was in the work room. If he come in I not know. If he do me, it must be a miracle, I not feel it!
That gets Amelae and Aina laughing. Mirafe is nonplused. Master, when this is over, maybe you will find time for me?
Yes. That will be nice. And it, will be nice. I do not enjoy this tense period. These things are not easy. We normally allow humans to go about their business uninterrupted. With three billion on the planet, there is really no reason to micromanage. What I am doing is highly unusual. I almost never take souls… well that isn’t true. Over the years I normally take one and stay with her until the years take her. So it is infrequent that I really do any of this type of thing. Once they are with me, I normally don’t have to do anything. Francine’s mother was an exception. To say it caught me by surprise is to state the obvious.
It was easy to love in the past, when there was little need to be always vigilant. But with Francine’s mother, things were different. It taught me to never make that mistake again. How many women, have I had as mates over the many years? I most certainly do not count. I do not want to feel the weight of those good women on my heart all at once and all together. Each was a good companion for decades, then yielding to time and age, giving way sweetly as I always took their pain away.
Each gave me a child. Each child grew up and until Francine, emerged from my roof without ever knowing anything other than I was a good father. I allowed them to see me appear to age along with their mother and at her passing, they were left to understand that I too had passed.
Do I need to be here?
No, I most certainly do not. It’s just that I really don’t like the game. Yes, it is the game we agreed to, but that was a mistake. So as a reminder of the evil created by having the game, I live among those who are the game pieces. This is my penance.
Francine is the weight on my being. She is the loving reminder of my one failure. I cannot afford to forget. And so Francine had to know who I am and how I failed, or the punishment I dole out to myself would be too easily left aside in the passing of time.
If I took but one female again, I might have lulled myself into complacency. I cannot allow that to happen. And so there are three here who are more assuredly now mine. And having three gives me reason to not love any. It is protection. I chose females with difficulties to remind me to be vigilant. I may have chosen too well.
Tonight I will watch and wait. What is going to happen will occur in the very early morning hours. As I watch, Aina is silently praying to her Jesus. She is imploring him to intervene and save lives. She sees it as a test. If her Jesus comes through against this lessor god, she will take it as a sign. What she will do when the guys die, is less certain in her mind. She wants to believe that they will be saved and in that act of redemption find Jesus in their hearts, mending their evil ways.
I could tell her that if they don’t die they will only take it that they were successful and continue on in their evil path, but such logic is beyond her need for faith. There may be may such battles she will see fought in the coming weeks while she gains weight and continues to say she is unsure. I suspect in the end she will go, but free will is just that. I have no way of knowing what she will choose.
Jacobo is the top cop in his region. He strides around in his para-military PNP uniform. He wears a cross which is always visible. In some ways, he sees himself as a modern day Christian Knight crusading against the heathens. He justifies his Shabu activities as that which he must do to finance his holy war. Jacobo the Grand Master of his coterie of modern day knights.
How do I know this? The man is constantly writing to his bishop of his valiant efforts and those who serve under him. He takes selfies of himself in a manner that leaves little to the imagination. I am not reading his mind… I am reading his mail.
And so I am thinking about Jacobo as I scoop up the last of my mole and wait for the early hours of Friday the 13th.
After dinner I kiss each of my three a sweet goodnight, only to find Erlyn unwilling to leave my side. Go to bed. There is nothing for you to do now.
Master, you are not going to bed and the same advice can be given to you. I want to watch with you.
I allow it and am about to leave the others, only to hear Aina ask, May I come too?
No, Aina. Only those who have put their souls in my hands may pass this locked door. You may not enter.
I want to see what happens.
There will be nothing that you will see in there. That is not why we will be there.
What does it matter if you have my soul, to allow me to go in there?
Aina, you are a guest in this house. You are welcome to stay in here. But you are only a guest and have no rights. Do I make myself clear?
Yes. Sorry.
If there comes a time when your soul is mine, you will be back in those rooms often enough. But only if that happens.
Erlyn and I enter, locking the door behind us.
It is a series of long and uneventful hours until three in the morning. Erlyn and I pass the time talking about her life growing up. We talk about the games she played. The candies she liked to eat. The names of the tricycle drivers who her mom trusted and the ones she was to stay away from. We talked about her dreams, and her fears.
At three we start seeing activity, on both ends of the matter. We watch as some assembled and others were in transit. The sun will rise a little after five-thirty, but the sky will lighten at about five-fifteen. All would transpire before that happened.
We wait and watch. I wonder, will Jacobo live long enough to see the dawn break?