Chapter 12
I head to the bus after deciding whether or not I would just walk home. I ended up choosing the bus because walking would make me late getting home, and one thing you don’t do is keep dad waiting. I flinch at the thought of what he would do if I got home late.
I step on the bus and see Hope in our usual seat quietly looking out the window. I look at the seat next to us and note that it is empty. I feel both relieved and sad that he's not there. But I just head down the aisle toward my seat. On the way stepping over book bags, and feet trying to trip me I make it to my seat and settle in.
"Hey." I say to Hope not looking at her but instead my stubby chewed nails hoping she doesn’t mention lunch, and that she doesn’t notice that I’ve been crying. "Hey what happened to you at lunch?" she says. I know she's looking at me waiting for me to look at her. But I don’t.
"I told you I had to get some work done." I say hoping she would believe me and let it go. "BS Shawntel you left like the devil himself was on your heel and you didn’t come back and neither did Jace." She said. I hate lying to her but it always end up doing it anyway.
"Maybe he had work to do too." "What happened?" She repeated not believing my lame excuse. "Nothing I had work to do and I don’t know where he went." This was kind of the truth because I didn’t know where he went afterwards. She pauses and then whispers "Have you been crying?"
I finally look up at her no use in lying about that too. "Yeah." I say. She puts a hand on my arm trying to comfort me. I really love Hope its times like these that I’m so glad I have her as a best friend. "What’s wrong?" she says looking at me with sad worried eyes.
I can’t tell her what’s really wrong without telling her the whole Jace story and why I would just tell him to leave me alone like that. So I lied. Again. "It's just my shoulder it really just hurts, I ran into Monica in the bathroom and she threatened me to stay away from Jace and that he was hers and then shoved me into the wall so don’t count on seeing Jace at our table or around us anymore." I said.
I was glad about my story because it got me out of explaining the real reason I was crying and why we wouldn’t be around Jace anymore. That was the shitty part though just thinking that I won’t be able to talk to and hang around him anymore.
"Damn it Tonya is such a bbbittch." She whispers making sure no one heard because if they did it would surely get back to Monica. If that got back to her that we thought she was a bitch she would turn school into hell, and lord knows I don’t need another place to call hell.
I can tell she's upset because her face gets red and her acne is a lot more obvious. I give her a reassuring smile to try to show her I'm ok "It's ok it's not that bad I’ll be....." I got cut off by the sound of footsteps getting on the bus. I look up and see Jace getting on the bus.
His eyes lock with mine for a second and pauses and I see the sadness in them and then he looks away and continues on down the aisle not looking at me. Then he throws his book bag in the seat then settles in grabs his book and reads. I watch him a second more and then look away and back to Hope.
She looks at me sadly and says "That doesn’t look like somebody who would willingly go to Tanya’s side." I don't respond and she doesn’t push me because I think she can tell that I'm already upset about it. I look back over at him and see he's still reading his coverless book. I think about saying something, anything to him.
But the image of my brother and father's face come to mind. The look on their face if they found out I was talking to a guy, let alone liked one. I shudder at the thought of what they would do to me, or worse what they would do to Jace.
To think what they would do to him if I ever even thought of going out with him. I could never let that happen over a stupid crush. Next thing I know the bus comes to a stop and Jace gets up without looking at me and heads down the aisle and out the door.
It sent a slight pain in my chest to see him leave. It worries me because I haven’t even known the boy for 24 hours but I can’t stand the thought of never seeing or talking to him again. A single tear rolls down my right cheek and I quickly wipe it away.
Erotic novel - Sugar Lips
Re: Erotic novel - Sugar Lips - Chapter 13
Chapter 13
After wallowing in my sadness for the rest of the trip and Hope getting off the bus after giving me an "I’m sorry you’re sad" hug it’s my turn to get off the bus. As I step down those last steps and the bus door closes behind me I do what I do every day. I mentally prepare myself for home I take a deep breath as I’m walking toward the house.
Just as I reach the door I mentally shut my brain down so basically I’m a walking zombie. After so many years of living with my dad and brother I have learned to shut down all emotions and just go through the motions and take whatever crap they have to say about me and how I’m ugly, a murderer, and will never be anything.
Then I go to sleep, and go back to school and see....I stop myself right there refusing to think of him and those beautiful green eyes. I unlock the door and step inside the house. I listen inside the house and hear music from my brothers’ room and I step back outside and see my dad’s car isn't here yet he won't be off work for a few hours.
I breathe a sigh of relief and quietly close the door behind me and secure my book bag on my back to make sure it doesn't rattle or bump into anything. I make my way up the steps and it seemed as though each step was as loud as a car crash but I make it up the steps and now for the hardest part.
I have to pass his room to get to mine but since his music is playing he probably won't hear me. Right when I’m in front of my room bedroom door his bedroom door flies open. SHIT! This is just not my lucky day. He is a little down the hall way out of arm reach and I'm looking at him and see all the hate in his eyes.
My first instincts was to run into my room and lock the door but I know better than to do that. Last time I did it dad unscrewed the door and took it off the hinges and both of them beat me senseless. Not only that but then they raped me at the same time again and took my door away for 2 months.
The only reason I have it back now is because we had a party awhile back and it would have been weird if people saw my door wasn’t there, and because he didn't want me hanging around his friends. I stand there frozen waiting for what he will do. Usually Jonathan won't rape me unless dad is here.
Sometimes I think Jonathan has some sort of conscious and that maybe he's just doing it because dad told him too. Jonathan walked up to me and looked down at me all the hatred still in his eyes and punches me so hard in the stomach.
I double over in pain gasping for breath holding my stomach. I look at him through watery eyes and he has the slyest smile on his face and says "That's better." chuckles and turn back to go to his room. "Why?" I whisper I don't know why I said it.
I have never asked that before but I know he heard me because he paused for a second then went to his room and closed the door. I sit there like that for another 5 minutes until Jonathan comes back out his room and says "Hey bitch I'm hungry I want baked chicken tonight get your pathetic ass up and get to it."
Then he just goes back into his room. I crawl toward the railing and use the railing to pull myself up. I lift up my shirt and sure enough there is a big fat fist sized bruise right in the middle of my abdomen. I slowly go down stairs leaving all my things in the hallway and go to make dinner for tonight.
After 45 minutes of agonizing cooking, because of my newly formed bruise joining my more faded bruises. I walk back up the stairs and softly knock on Jonathan’s door until I hear him turn him music down and say "Dinner is ready." The door swings open before I can even take a step back.
He looks at me and shoves me to the side with his left arm and right into the wall. Once again adding to the bruise family. "Bout time bitch took you long enough!" and heads down stairs. I sigh and stiffly walk to my room trying not to move too much. I make it to my room and grab my things in the hall and close my door.
I take out my homework and spend about an hour doing that and then grab my P.J's underwear and bra and head for the bathroom. Dad should be home in about 2 hours. I look at Jonathan's door and see its closed and music playing.
As soon as I see that everything’s clear I dash to the bathroom as fast as my bruises will let me and then close the door behind me. I get undressed and am about to get into the shower and did something I hadn't done in years.
I took a good look at myself in the mirror. I saw a sad girl. So sad. Covered in bruises and that looked so small and defeated. I looked at myself and all my bruises and couldn’t believe it that it was me. I am ugly. Dad and Jonathan are right.
Why would Jace ever go for a girl like me? I don't have great boobs like Tanya and my hair isn't long like Hopes and my body isn't all curvy and elegant. I have small curves and about B cup boobs.
I quickly turn my back to the mirror and not a second later I crumple to the ground in a heap of tears on the cold marble floor hugging a towel to my chest like it was my last thread of sanity. I sit crying on the floor for what seem like forever just lying there feeling sorry for the sad pathetic ugly girl in the mirror.
After wallowing in my sadness for the rest of the trip and Hope getting off the bus after giving me an "I’m sorry you’re sad" hug it’s my turn to get off the bus. As I step down those last steps and the bus door closes behind me I do what I do every day. I mentally prepare myself for home I take a deep breath as I’m walking toward the house.
Just as I reach the door I mentally shut my brain down so basically I’m a walking zombie. After so many years of living with my dad and brother I have learned to shut down all emotions and just go through the motions and take whatever crap they have to say about me and how I’m ugly, a murderer, and will never be anything.
Then I go to sleep, and go back to school and see....I stop myself right there refusing to think of him and those beautiful green eyes. I unlock the door and step inside the house. I listen inside the house and hear music from my brothers’ room and I step back outside and see my dad’s car isn't here yet he won't be off work for a few hours.
I breathe a sigh of relief and quietly close the door behind me and secure my book bag on my back to make sure it doesn't rattle or bump into anything. I make my way up the steps and it seemed as though each step was as loud as a car crash but I make it up the steps and now for the hardest part.
I have to pass his room to get to mine but since his music is playing he probably won't hear me. Right when I’m in front of my room bedroom door his bedroom door flies open. SHIT! This is just not my lucky day. He is a little down the hall way out of arm reach and I'm looking at him and see all the hate in his eyes.
My first instincts was to run into my room and lock the door but I know better than to do that. Last time I did it dad unscrewed the door and took it off the hinges and both of them beat me senseless. Not only that but then they raped me at the same time again and took my door away for 2 months.
The only reason I have it back now is because we had a party awhile back and it would have been weird if people saw my door wasn’t there, and because he didn't want me hanging around his friends. I stand there frozen waiting for what he will do. Usually Jonathan won't rape me unless dad is here.
Sometimes I think Jonathan has some sort of conscious and that maybe he's just doing it because dad told him too. Jonathan walked up to me and looked down at me all the hatred still in his eyes and punches me so hard in the stomach.
I double over in pain gasping for breath holding my stomach. I look at him through watery eyes and he has the slyest smile on his face and says "That's better." chuckles and turn back to go to his room. "Why?" I whisper I don't know why I said it.
I have never asked that before but I know he heard me because he paused for a second then went to his room and closed the door. I sit there like that for another 5 minutes until Jonathan comes back out his room and says "Hey bitch I'm hungry I want baked chicken tonight get your pathetic ass up and get to it."
Then he just goes back into his room. I crawl toward the railing and use the railing to pull myself up. I lift up my shirt and sure enough there is a big fat fist sized bruise right in the middle of my abdomen. I slowly go down stairs leaving all my things in the hallway and go to make dinner for tonight.
After 45 minutes of agonizing cooking, because of my newly formed bruise joining my more faded bruises. I walk back up the stairs and softly knock on Jonathan’s door until I hear him turn him music down and say "Dinner is ready." The door swings open before I can even take a step back.
He looks at me and shoves me to the side with his left arm and right into the wall. Once again adding to the bruise family. "Bout time bitch took you long enough!" and heads down stairs. I sigh and stiffly walk to my room trying not to move too much. I make it to my room and grab my things in the hall and close my door.
I take out my homework and spend about an hour doing that and then grab my P.J's underwear and bra and head for the bathroom. Dad should be home in about 2 hours. I look at Jonathan's door and see its closed and music playing.
As soon as I see that everything’s clear I dash to the bathroom as fast as my bruises will let me and then close the door behind me. I get undressed and am about to get into the shower and did something I hadn't done in years.
I took a good look at myself in the mirror. I saw a sad girl. So sad. Covered in bruises and that looked so small and defeated. I looked at myself and all my bruises and couldn’t believe it that it was me. I am ugly. Dad and Jonathan are right.
Why would Jace ever go for a girl like me? I don't have great boobs like Tanya and my hair isn't long like Hopes and my body isn't all curvy and elegant. I have small curves and about B cup boobs.
I quickly turn my back to the mirror and not a second later I crumple to the ground in a heap of tears on the cold marble floor hugging a towel to my chest like it was my last thread of sanity. I sit crying on the floor for what seem like forever just lying there feeling sorry for the sad pathetic ugly girl in the mirror.
Re: Erotic novel - Sugar Lips - Chapter 14
Chapter 14
After I finally got off the floor being sure I avoided looking at the mirror and take a hot shower, put on my clothes, collect my things and quickly run to my room and close the door softly. I listen and notice that Jonathan’s music isn't playing anymore.
That’s weird he's always playing music. I dismiss the thought he probably just left it's not like he'd tell me if he left anyway. I'm in my room studying for about 20 minutes before I hear the door slam shut. I am immediately put on edge.
I sit up in my bed and I hear footsteps stomping up the steps and hear them approaching my door. I think to myself please past my door, please past my door. But of course he doesn't. My door slams open and standing there looking mad as the devil himself. He storms in and hits me right across the face.
Oh shit I must have done something really bad this time for him to hit me in a visible place. He stares down at me and says "So u think you can talk to some boy and I wouldn’t figure it out?" I stare at him in horror. How? How could he have possibly known that?
He kicks me in the stomach knocking the breath and thoughts out of me. "You stupid bitch who the fuck do you think you are?" he crouches down and yanks me up by my hair and I shrill in pain as he brings my face even to his. "You thought I wouldn't find out didn't you, you dumb bitch?" he says.
"You are nothing but a piece of shit on the scum of the earth, you are nothing, and no one will ever love you! He punches me in my ribs still holding my hair. I wince in pain every breath I take. Oh my god he’s going to kill me. Oh god he's going to kill Jace.
"No... It’s not what you think... I told him to leave me alone... and stop bothering me." I chocked out through my pain fully bruised side and aching head ache. "You fucking liar!" he says punching my in the ribs again. "You think I’m stupid?" Punch. "You think it’s ok to talk to boys now?" Punch.
"I'll teach you to disrespect me!" He yells in my face. He throws my head to the ground and kicks me in the stomach and slaps me again on the face. As he got ready to kick me again I manage to raise my hand a little and say "Please no... I...didnt...do anything...i swear...it was...nothing." I say in between breaths and shots of pain.
He pauses looking down at me in disgust. He reaches down and yanks me up by my shirt. I yelp in pain. He looks me directly in the eye as mad as a bull and says "If I find out your lying you're dead bitch." he slams me to the ground and turns to walk away. He pauses turns around and spits right on my cheek. "Pathetic bitch."
He turns again walking away leaving me crumpled on the floor. Laying on the floor unable to move from the pain hoping that I wasn’t so beat up that make up couldn’t cover up and I would still be able to go to school. I laid there crumpled for 20 minutes when I heard a sound at my door I stiffened and slowly raised my head.
There in the door way is Jonathan. Shit! I can't take much more of this. I slowly meet eyes with him and gasp. The look in his eyes wasn't anger. But something that was foreign in this house. Sympathy? Before i could get a really good look he turns his back to me and closes my bedroom door.
I continue to lay on my floor wondering if I had really seen something in his eyes. If I really did see some form of sympathy. Or if I was just seeing things because I wished I could see it? I sit there thinking and wondering for what felt like forever. Then finally I roll onto my back whincing at the pain and slowly stretch out.
"Ok no broken bones." I say to myself as I continue to test my body. I then slowly sit up, wincing the whole time at the pain in my head and ribs. I put my hand on my bed using that as a crutch to stand up. I manage to stand up griting my teeth the whole time and hobble over to the small mirror on my wall.
I don't look into it at first. I just stand there looking down at the carpet, Hoping that I don't look to bad and that I can go to school tomorrow. I take a deep breath and look up and gasp "Shit." I whisper to myself. I have a bruise on the right cheek.
"Damn him." Tears streak down my face. Damn I hope that by morning that it would fade enough that makeup could cover it. Damn it, Damn it, Damn it. It definitely can't be covered up now. Tears stream down my cheeks as I hobble to the bed and wrap myself in my covers. I sat there crying for who knows how long until I finally fell into a tear streamed sleep.
After I finally got off the floor being sure I avoided looking at the mirror and take a hot shower, put on my clothes, collect my things and quickly run to my room and close the door softly. I listen and notice that Jonathan’s music isn't playing anymore.
That’s weird he's always playing music. I dismiss the thought he probably just left it's not like he'd tell me if he left anyway. I'm in my room studying for about 20 minutes before I hear the door slam shut. I am immediately put on edge.
I sit up in my bed and I hear footsteps stomping up the steps and hear them approaching my door. I think to myself please past my door, please past my door. But of course he doesn't. My door slams open and standing there looking mad as the devil himself. He storms in and hits me right across the face.
Oh shit I must have done something really bad this time for him to hit me in a visible place. He stares down at me and says "So u think you can talk to some boy and I wouldn’t figure it out?" I stare at him in horror. How? How could he have possibly known that?
He kicks me in the stomach knocking the breath and thoughts out of me. "You stupid bitch who the fuck do you think you are?" he crouches down and yanks me up by my hair and I shrill in pain as he brings my face even to his. "You thought I wouldn't find out didn't you, you dumb bitch?" he says.
"You are nothing but a piece of shit on the scum of the earth, you are nothing, and no one will ever love you! He punches me in my ribs still holding my hair. I wince in pain every breath I take. Oh my god he’s going to kill me. Oh god he's going to kill Jace.
"No... It’s not what you think... I told him to leave me alone... and stop bothering me." I chocked out through my pain fully bruised side and aching head ache. "You fucking liar!" he says punching my in the ribs again. "You think I’m stupid?" Punch. "You think it’s ok to talk to boys now?" Punch.
"I'll teach you to disrespect me!" He yells in my face. He throws my head to the ground and kicks me in the stomach and slaps me again on the face. As he got ready to kick me again I manage to raise my hand a little and say "Please no... I...didnt...do anything...i swear...it was...nothing." I say in between breaths and shots of pain.
He pauses looking down at me in disgust. He reaches down and yanks me up by my shirt. I yelp in pain. He looks me directly in the eye as mad as a bull and says "If I find out your lying you're dead bitch." he slams me to the ground and turns to walk away. He pauses turns around and spits right on my cheek. "Pathetic bitch."
He turns again walking away leaving me crumpled on the floor. Laying on the floor unable to move from the pain hoping that I wasn’t so beat up that make up couldn’t cover up and I would still be able to go to school. I laid there crumpled for 20 minutes when I heard a sound at my door I stiffened and slowly raised my head.
There in the door way is Jonathan. Shit! I can't take much more of this. I slowly meet eyes with him and gasp. The look in his eyes wasn't anger. But something that was foreign in this house. Sympathy? Before i could get a really good look he turns his back to me and closes my bedroom door.
I continue to lay on my floor wondering if I had really seen something in his eyes. If I really did see some form of sympathy. Or if I was just seeing things because I wished I could see it? I sit there thinking and wondering for what felt like forever. Then finally I roll onto my back whincing at the pain and slowly stretch out.
"Ok no broken bones." I say to myself as I continue to test my body. I then slowly sit up, wincing the whole time at the pain in my head and ribs. I put my hand on my bed using that as a crutch to stand up. I manage to stand up griting my teeth the whole time and hobble over to the small mirror on my wall.
I don't look into it at first. I just stand there looking down at the carpet, Hoping that I don't look to bad and that I can go to school tomorrow. I take a deep breath and look up and gasp "Shit." I whisper to myself. I have a bruise on the right cheek.
"Damn him." Tears streak down my face. Damn I hope that by morning that it would fade enough that makeup could cover it. Damn it, Damn it, Damn it. It definitely can't be covered up now. Tears stream down my cheeks as I hobble to the bed and wrap myself in my covers. I sat there crying for who knows how long until I finally fell into a tear streamed sleep.