Re: love story-TUNE MERE JANA,KBHI NHI JANA-xossip
Posted: 15 Dec 2016 10:10
UPDATE 87-
Diary me last post ek din pahle ki thi aur uske niche ek dardnak ghazal ki chand panktiya likhi huyi thi…………..
chamakte chand ko tuta hua tara bana dala
meri aawargi ne mujhko aawara bana dala
bada dilkash bada rangeen hai yeh shehar kehte hain
yahan par hain hazaron ghar gharon mein log rehte hain
mujhe is shehar ne galiyon ka banjara bana dala
chamkte chand………
main is duniya ko aksar dekh kar hairaan hota hun
na mujhse ban saka chhota sa ghar,din raat rota hun
khudaya tune kaise ye jahan sara bana dala
chamakte chand...................
mere malik, mera dil kyun tadapta hai, sulagta hai
teri marzi , teri marzi pe kiska zor chalta hai
kisi ko gul, kisi ko tune angara bana dala
chamakte chand...................
yehi aagaz tha mera, yehi anjam hona tha
mujhe barbaad hona tha, mujhe nakaam hona tha
mujhe taqdeer ne taqdeer ka mara bana dala
chamakte chand.........................
Mera anjaam yhi hona tha………..Mai haar gayaa aarti ………ab aur ladne Ka dil nhi karta…..…bahut yad aa rhi hai tumhari……………bas ek baar aa jao na…… plzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
____SAHIL.
Juhi ne poori diary padh li thi aur chupchap band karke wapas usi tarah se rakh diya….sahil ke certificate rakhte huye achanak uski nazar 10th ke certificate par padi…………14 /02/****…….sahil ki date of birth….yani kal sahil ka birthday hai…………par kal to valentine day bhi hai…….life me pahli bar juhi ke dil me ek mithi si kasak uthi thi is VALENTINE DAY ke nam par……is se pahle is khas din ka koi khas value nhi tha uski life me…………juhi ne sare certificates rakhe aur sahil ka room band karke wapas aa gyi………..
Is samay juhi apne room me gumsum baithi thi…………diary ke bare me hi soch rhi thi……………..sahil ne apne bachpan se lekar abhi tak ki kahani likhi thi …………jyadatar baten bachpan se jawani tak aarti aur uski nok jhok aur fir unki dosti aur fir ekdusre se pyaar ki thi…………….sahil ne apni padhai se related bhi kafi kuchh likha tha………aur har din ke ant me ek sawal likha tha…………….. “tumne aisa kyu kiya aarti ????”
“AARTI ?””” kyu kiya usne aisa ?????.....ye sawal to ab juhi ke man me bhi uth rha tha……chahe vajah jo bhi rhi ho aarti , tumne jo kiya hai wo mafi ke layak nhi hai….kabhi nhi.------juhi ke dil ne to faisla bhi suna diya.
“Kitna struggle kiya hai sahil ne…………suru se hi……..sahil deserve karta hai …uske jaise logo ko hi IAS officer ban na chahiye………mai to sirf pre na qualify kar pane par itani dukhi huyi thi….par wo to interview tak pahuch kar wapas aa gya………mere pas to suru se hi har facility thi lekin usne to apni education gaon me puri ki …….koi bhi coaching ya guidance nhi mila hoga use……….….aur fir itani shiddat se ki gayi muhabbat me nakami ??????…….ufff…kitna dard hai sahil ki zindagi me…………uski uadsi me kitna dard hai .??????.........kitani na-umeed hai wo aankhe……….” Juhi ka dil sahil ke liye tadap utha.
“aaj bhi aisi muhabbat karne wale hai is dharti par???? Yakeen nhi hota…………….” juhi socho ke smandar se nikal nhi paa rhi thi ………..
“.sahil ko mai wapas laungi……mai uski aankho ko fir se wo sapna dekhne aur use poora karne ka hausla dungi…………sahil zindagi nhi rookti hai ye mai samjhaungi tumhe…………zindagi me ek insaan bura hota hai lekin puri zindagi ko uski sajaa nhi milni chahiye……….tumne muhabbat ka ek kala rang dekha hai…mai tumhe muhabbat ke sare rang dikhaungi……itna pyar dungi ki tumhe zindagi me kabhi us bewafaa ki yad bhi nhi aayegi….” Juhi ke dil me sahil ke liye bahut hamdardi ho gyi thi………..Tabhi dimag ke kisi hisse se bagahwat ki aawaz aayi…………
“ye mai kya soch rhi hu……sahil aur mai???? Kya mai sahil se muhabbat…………???...nhi…nhi…bas hamdardi hai…………….lekin dil …………..”aur juhi apne hi dimag aur dil ki jung me fas si gyi thi……….
“jo bhi ho insaaniyat ke nate hi sahi….ye farz hai mera ki mai ek bar to kosis karu ki wo fir se jeena sikh jaye……….mai ye kosis jaroor karungi………” juhi ne dil ki bat mani aur dimag ko thodi der ke liye chup kara diya……..muhabbat to ho gyi thi use sahil se bas abhi accept nhi kar paa rhi thi……….
juhi ki duniya abhi tak sirf apni do logo ki family aur kuchh dosto tak hi rahi thi……muhabbat jaisi koi cheej uski zindagi me kabhi aayi nhi thi ……….usne is najariye se na kabhi kisi ke bare me socha tha aur na hi sochana chaha tha…..shayad yhi wajah thi ki wo abhi tak ye maan nhi rahi thi ki use bhi muhabbat ho gyi………..
juhi soch rhi thi aur usne nischay kar liya tha ki wok kam se kam ek bar to jaroor kosis karegi……………par is kosis ki suruwat kaise kare…???.....achanak uske dil me khyal aaya……..kal to valentine day hai……….? Haa To ??????? fir mano usne khud se hi sawal kiya,…….uski aankho jhuk gyi,,,,sharm se……..mai bhi kya sochati hu………..lekin kl sahil ka B,day bhi to hai…………ha yhi thik rahega…………juhi apni soch par khus ho gyi…..jane kyu ek sukoon sa mil rha tha use……
“sahil duniya bahut khoobsoorat hai aur zinadgi us se bhi khubsoorat ………zindagi me har rang hona chahiye aur tumhare zindagi me ab kale rango ka waqt khatm ho gya…….sahil tum bahut achche ho aur tumhare liye khuda ne kuchh bahut achchha socha hoga………..tumhari zindagi me koi aisa aayega jo itani khusi dega ki tum apne sare gham bhool jaoge…dekh lena….” Juhi apne aap se bate kar rhi thi….aur aakhiri bat par na chahte huye bhi wo Sharma gayi aur uske laal gal gulabi ho gaye.
Sahil kafi rat huye wapas aaya……….main gate khulne ki aawaz se JUHI ne khidki se bahar dekha….sahil ki chaal dekhkar aisa lag rha tha ki usne sharab pee rakhi hai………lekin juhi ke pas koi tarika nhi tha confirm karne ka……..usne chupke se apna darwaza khola aur chalte huye niche aa gyi……..hath me ek book li huyi thi ki agar kisi ne puchha to kah degi ki kuchh puchhna tha…… use fir bhi dar lag rha tha……lekin kya karti dil ke hatho majboor thi…
Juhi sahil ke room me pahuchi...........aur apne bed par leta hua tha……..pairo me abhi bhi shoes the aur uske hath me ek tasweer thi jise wo dekh rha tha…….juhi ke aane ke aahat se uth baitha………..
“aao juhi……..kaisi ho…….…kuchh padhna tha tumhe…kl padh lena ……” sahil ki aawaz se saf pata chal rha tha ki usne pee rakhi hai……….juhi ka shaq sahi sabit hua…
“sahil aapne drink kiya hai???..sharab pee hai aapne???” juhi uske pas bed par baithte huye boli.
“sahil kuchh puchh rhi hu mai” use kuchh na bolta dekhkar juhi ne gusse se kaha…
“haa pee hai maine….tumhe kya…..ho kaun tum………jao yha se ” sahil ne lagbhag chillate huye kaha.
Juhi ka dil chaha uth kar abhi bhag jaye…kuchh palo ke liye wo dar gyi……..lekin use sahil ki halat ka andaaza tha…...wo chahte huye bhi uthkar na ja saki………..sahil ne apni aankhe band karli…………
“sahil plzz…shor mat karo……...mai kuchh khane ko lati hu aapke liye…..” juhi uthate huye boli…
“nhi …ruko”sahil ne uska hath pakad liya…juhi ke sharir me jaise jhurjhuri si daud gyi…….wo mano boot ban gyi…
“kyu kar rhi ho tum ye sab” sahil ko mano hosh aa gya aur usne jhat se juhi ka hath chhod diya…..
“aapko vajah batana mai jaroori nhi samjhti” juhi ne kaha aur fir chuchap room se nikal gyi…..
Thodi der bad wo wapas aayi ……...uske hath me plate me khane ki kuchh cheeje aur kuchh fruits rakhe the……….muhabbat aisi hi hoti hai……..har dar khatm kar deti hai insaan ke andar se…duniya ka samaj ka …zindagi ka aur maut ka bhi…jo juhi thod der pahle book lekar aane me dar rhi thi sahil ke room me ki koi dekh na le…whi ab hane ki plate lekar bekhauf aa gyi thi……..ye bat aur thi ki juhi sab kuchh jante huye bhi maan nhi rahi thi ki use bhi ISHQ ka rog lag gaya hai……………
Sahil uski or gaur se dekh rha tha…….uska sara nasha mano utar gya tha………..
Juhi ne sahil ke aage plate badha di…………
“ab khilana bhi padega kya aapko”usne thoda sa muskurate huye kaha.
Sahil kuchh nhi bola……..aur chuchap khane lagaa……..juhi whi uske paas baith gayi aur use khate huye dekhne lagi…..………kuchh nivale hi khaye the usne ki use jor ki hichaki aayi aur juhi ne pani ka glass uthakr uske hotho se lagaa diya………….sahil ne do ghoont pani piya aur utne hi aansu uski aankho se nikal gaye…………use aarti yad aa gyi …itani care to kkeval aarti karti thi uski…………….
“kya hua….sabji tikhi hai” juhi ne anjaan bante huye kahaa…..
“juhi….…mujhe uski yad aati hai…..bolo na use ki laut aaye” kuchh hosh aur kuchh behoshi ke se aalam me sahil ne kaha aur juhi ke gale se lagkar betahasha rone lagaa…use to ye bhi khabar na thi ki juhi ko aarti ke bare me pta nhi hoga……
Juhi ki samjh me nhi aa rha tha ki wo sahil se kya bole…………..wo chup chap use apne kandhe par tikaye uske sar par hath pherti rahi…..
“sahil chup ho jao aap…plz…..aapko bahut majboot ban na hai….bahut aage badhna hai aapko………..”
“nhi hu mai majboot……..mujhe kuchh nhi chahiye…………mujhe kuchh nhi ban na hai…mujhe bas meri aarti chaiye…mujhe meri aarti laa do juhi…plz…..bolo na use ki aa jaye…..plz….” juhi ke kandho se lagaa wo kisi bachche ki tarah bilakh rha tha…..
Juhi kuchh nhi kar paa rhi thi…..usne sahil ko rone diya…..wo chahti thi ki wo ro le aur uske dil ka dard shayad kuchh kam ho jaye,………..
Thodi der bad sahil sambhala ……juhi k kandhe se alag hua aur kisi mujhrim ki tarah nazre jhuka li………..juhi ne apne hath me ek nivala uthaya aur uske hotho ki or badha diya……..sahil ne muh nhi khola….
“plzzzzzzzzzzz” juhi ne uski aankho me dekhte huye kaha. Sahil chupchap uske hath se khane lagaa.
Sahil kha kar baitha tha juhi ne plates uthaye aur darwaze ki or badhi …
“sorry” sahil ki aawaz uske kano me padi..wo fir pichhe mudi sahil ki or aa gyi………….
“kis bat ke liye…………mai kaun hoti hu jo aap mujhe sorry bol rhe hai” juhi boli.
Sahil chup raha…..
“Subah bat karenge”” juhi ne kaha aur bahar nikal gayi………
Sahil khud par naraz hone lagaa….......itane dino se dil me chhupa dard aaj aakhir bahar aa hi gya tha………usne soch liya tha ki ab juhi se iske bare me aur koi bat nhi karega.
Diary me last post ek din pahle ki thi aur uske niche ek dardnak ghazal ki chand panktiya likhi huyi thi…………..
chamakte chand ko tuta hua tara bana dala
meri aawargi ne mujhko aawara bana dala
bada dilkash bada rangeen hai yeh shehar kehte hain
yahan par hain hazaron ghar gharon mein log rehte hain
mujhe is shehar ne galiyon ka banjara bana dala
chamkte chand………
main is duniya ko aksar dekh kar hairaan hota hun
na mujhse ban saka chhota sa ghar,din raat rota hun
khudaya tune kaise ye jahan sara bana dala
chamakte chand...................
mere malik, mera dil kyun tadapta hai, sulagta hai
teri marzi , teri marzi pe kiska zor chalta hai
kisi ko gul, kisi ko tune angara bana dala
chamakte chand...................
yehi aagaz tha mera, yehi anjam hona tha
mujhe barbaad hona tha, mujhe nakaam hona tha
mujhe taqdeer ne taqdeer ka mara bana dala
chamakte chand.........................
Mera anjaam yhi hona tha………..Mai haar gayaa aarti ………ab aur ladne Ka dil nhi karta…..…bahut yad aa rhi hai tumhari……………bas ek baar aa jao na…… plzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
____SAHIL.
Juhi ne poori diary padh li thi aur chupchap band karke wapas usi tarah se rakh diya….sahil ke certificate rakhte huye achanak uski nazar 10th ke certificate par padi…………14 /02/****…….sahil ki date of birth….yani kal sahil ka birthday hai…………par kal to valentine day bhi hai…….life me pahli bar juhi ke dil me ek mithi si kasak uthi thi is VALENTINE DAY ke nam par……is se pahle is khas din ka koi khas value nhi tha uski life me…………juhi ne sare certificates rakhe aur sahil ka room band karke wapas aa gyi………..
Is samay juhi apne room me gumsum baithi thi…………diary ke bare me hi soch rhi thi……………..sahil ne apne bachpan se lekar abhi tak ki kahani likhi thi …………jyadatar baten bachpan se jawani tak aarti aur uski nok jhok aur fir unki dosti aur fir ekdusre se pyaar ki thi…………….sahil ne apni padhai se related bhi kafi kuchh likha tha………aur har din ke ant me ek sawal likha tha…………….. “tumne aisa kyu kiya aarti ????”
“AARTI ?””” kyu kiya usne aisa ?????.....ye sawal to ab juhi ke man me bhi uth rha tha……chahe vajah jo bhi rhi ho aarti , tumne jo kiya hai wo mafi ke layak nhi hai….kabhi nhi.------juhi ke dil ne to faisla bhi suna diya.
“Kitna struggle kiya hai sahil ne…………suru se hi……..sahil deserve karta hai …uske jaise logo ko hi IAS officer ban na chahiye………mai to sirf pre na qualify kar pane par itani dukhi huyi thi….par wo to interview tak pahuch kar wapas aa gya………mere pas to suru se hi har facility thi lekin usne to apni education gaon me puri ki …….koi bhi coaching ya guidance nhi mila hoga use……….….aur fir itani shiddat se ki gayi muhabbat me nakami ??????…….ufff…kitna dard hai sahil ki zindagi me…………uski uadsi me kitna dard hai .??????.........kitani na-umeed hai wo aankhe……….” Juhi ka dil sahil ke liye tadap utha.
“aaj bhi aisi muhabbat karne wale hai is dharti par???? Yakeen nhi hota…………….” juhi socho ke smandar se nikal nhi paa rhi thi ………..
“.sahil ko mai wapas laungi……mai uski aankho ko fir se wo sapna dekhne aur use poora karne ka hausla dungi…………sahil zindagi nhi rookti hai ye mai samjhaungi tumhe…………zindagi me ek insaan bura hota hai lekin puri zindagi ko uski sajaa nhi milni chahiye……….tumne muhabbat ka ek kala rang dekha hai…mai tumhe muhabbat ke sare rang dikhaungi……itna pyar dungi ki tumhe zindagi me kabhi us bewafaa ki yad bhi nhi aayegi….” Juhi ke dil me sahil ke liye bahut hamdardi ho gyi thi………..Tabhi dimag ke kisi hisse se bagahwat ki aawaz aayi…………
“ye mai kya soch rhi hu……sahil aur mai???? Kya mai sahil se muhabbat…………???...nhi…nhi…bas hamdardi hai…………….lekin dil …………..”aur juhi apne hi dimag aur dil ki jung me fas si gyi thi……….
“jo bhi ho insaaniyat ke nate hi sahi….ye farz hai mera ki mai ek bar to kosis karu ki wo fir se jeena sikh jaye……….mai ye kosis jaroor karungi………” juhi ne dil ki bat mani aur dimag ko thodi der ke liye chup kara diya……..muhabbat to ho gyi thi use sahil se bas abhi accept nhi kar paa rhi thi……….
juhi ki duniya abhi tak sirf apni do logo ki family aur kuchh dosto tak hi rahi thi……muhabbat jaisi koi cheej uski zindagi me kabhi aayi nhi thi ……….usne is najariye se na kabhi kisi ke bare me socha tha aur na hi sochana chaha tha…..shayad yhi wajah thi ki wo abhi tak ye maan nhi rahi thi ki use bhi muhabbat ho gyi………..
juhi soch rhi thi aur usne nischay kar liya tha ki wok kam se kam ek bar to jaroor kosis karegi……………par is kosis ki suruwat kaise kare…???.....achanak uske dil me khyal aaya……..kal to valentine day hai……….? Haa To ??????? fir mano usne khud se hi sawal kiya,…….uski aankho jhuk gyi,,,,sharm se……..mai bhi kya sochati hu………..lekin kl sahil ka B,day bhi to hai…………ha yhi thik rahega…………juhi apni soch par khus ho gyi…..jane kyu ek sukoon sa mil rha tha use……
“sahil duniya bahut khoobsoorat hai aur zinadgi us se bhi khubsoorat ………zindagi me har rang hona chahiye aur tumhare zindagi me ab kale rango ka waqt khatm ho gya…….sahil tum bahut achche ho aur tumhare liye khuda ne kuchh bahut achchha socha hoga………..tumhari zindagi me koi aisa aayega jo itani khusi dega ki tum apne sare gham bhool jaoge…dekh lena….” Juhi apne aap se bate kar rhi thi….aur aakhiri bat par na chahte huye bhi wo Sharma gayi aur uske laal gal gulabi ho gaye.
Sahil kafi rat huye wapas aaya……….main gate khulne ki aawaz se JUHI ne khidki se bahar dekha….sahil ki chaal dekhkar aisa lag rha tha ki usne sharab pee rakhi hai………lekin juhi ke pas koi tarika nhi tha confirm karne ka……..usne chupke se apna darwaza khola aur chalte huye niche aa gyi……..hath me ek book li huyi thi ki agar kisi ne puchha to kah degi ki kuchh puchhna tha…… use fir bhi dar lag rha tha……lekin kya karti dil ke hatho majboor thi…
Juhi sahil ke room me pahuchi...........aur apne bed par leta hua tha……..pairo me abhi bhi shoes the aur uske hath me ek tasweer thi jise wo dekh rha tha…….juhi ke aane ke aahat se uth baitha………..
“aao juhi……..kaisi ho…….…kuchh padhna tha tumhe…kl padh lena ……” sahil ki aawaz se saf pata chal rha tha ki usne pee rakhi hai……….juhi ka shaq sahi sabit hua…
“sahil aapne drink kiya hai???..sharab pee hai aapne???” juhi uske pas bed par baithte huye boli.
“sahil kuchh puchh rhi hu mai” use kuchh na bolta dekhkar juhi ne gusse se kaha…
“haa pee hai maine….tumhe kya…..ho kaun tum………jao yha se ” sahil ne lagbhag chillate huye kaha.
Juhi ka dil chaha uth kar abhi bhag jaye…kuchh palo ke liye wo dar gyi……..lekin use sahil ki halat ka andaaza tha…...wo chahte huye bhi uthkar na ja saki………..sahil ne apni aankhe band karli…………
“sahil plzz…shor mat karo……...mai kuchh khane ko lati hu aapke liye…..” juhi uthate huye boli…
“nhi …ruko”sahil ne uska hath pakad liya…juhi ke sharir me jaise jhurjhuri si daud gyi…….wo mano boot ban gyi…
“kyu kar rhi ho tum ye sab” sahil ko mano hosh aa gya aur usne jhat se juhi ka hath chhod diya…..
“aapko vajah batana mai jaroori nhi samjhti” juhi ne kaha aur fir chuchap room se nikal gyi…..
Thodi der bad wo wapas aayi ……...uske hath me plate me khane ki kuchh cheeje aur kuchh fruits rakhe the……….muhabbat aisi hi hoti hai……..har dar khatm kar deti hai insaan ke andar se…duniya ka samaj ka …zindagi ka aur maut ka bhi…jo juhi thod der pahle book lekar aane me dar rhi thi sahil ke room me ki koi dekh na le…whi ab hane ki plate lekar bekhauf aa gyi thi……..ye bat aur thi ki juhi sab kuchh jante huye bhi maan nhi rahi thi ki use bhi ISHQ ka rog lag gaya hai……………
Sahil uski or gaur se dekh rha tha…….uska sara nasha mano utar gya tha………..
Juhi ne sahil ke aage plate badha di…………
“ab khilana bhi padega kya aapko”usne thoda sa muskurate huye kaha.
Sahil kuchh nhi bola……..aur chuchap khane lagaa……..juhi whi uske paas baith gayi aur use khate huye dekhne lagi…..………kuchh nivale hi khaye the usne ki use jor ki hichaki aayi aur juhi ne pani ka glass uthakr uske hotho se lagaa diya………….sahil ne do ghoont pani piya aur utne hi aansu uski aankho se nikal gaye…………use aarti yad aa gyi …itani care to kkeval aarti karti thi uski…………….
“kya hua….sabji tikhi hai” juhi ne anjaan bante huye kahaa…..
“juhi….…mujhe uski yad aati hai…..bolo na use ki laut aaye” kuchh hosh aur kuchh behoshi ke se aalam me sahil ne kaha aur juhi ke gale se lagkar betahasha rone lagaa…use to ye bhi khabar na thi ki juhi ko aarti ke bare me pta nhi hoga……
Juhi ki samjh me nhi aa rha tha ki wo sahil se kya bole…………..wo chup chap use apne kandhe par tikaye uske sar par hath pherti rahi…..
“sahil chup ho jao aap…plz…..aapko bahut majboot ban na hai….bahut aage badhna hai aapko………..”
“nhi hu mai majboot……..mujhe kuchh nhi chahiye…………mujhe kuchh nhi ban na hai…mujhe bas meri aarti chaiye…mujhe meri aarti laa do juhi…plz…..bolo na use ki aa jaye…..plz….” juhi ke kandho se lagaa wo kisi bachche ki tarah bilakh rha tha…..
Juhi kuchh nhi kar paa rhi thi…..usne sahil ko rone diya…..wo chahti thi ki wo ro le aur uske dil ka dard shayad kuchh kam ho jaye,………..
Thodi der bad sahil sambhala ……juhi k kandhe se alag hua aur kisi mujhrim ki tarah nazre jhuka li………..juhi ne apne hath me ek nivala uthaya aur uske hotho ki or badha diya……..sahil ne muh nhi khola….
“plzzzzzzzzzzz” juhi ne uski aankho me dekhte huye kaha. Sahil chupchap uske hath se khane lagaa.
Sahil kha kar baitha tha juhi ne plates uthaye aur darwaze ki or badhi …
“sorry” sahil ki aawaz uske kano me padi..wo fir pichhe mudi sahil ki or aa gyi………….
“kis bat ke liye…………mai kaun hoti hu jo aap mujhe sorry bol rhe hai” juhi boli.
Sahil chup raha…..
“Subah bat karenge”” juhi ne kaha aur bahar nikal gayi………
Sahil khud par naraz hone lagaa….......itane dino se dil me chhupa dard aaj aakhir bahar aa hi gya tha………usne soch liya tha ki ab juhi se iske bare me aur koi bat nhi karega.