WARNING. THIS CONTAINS THE AMERICAN WONTON USUAL. READER DISCRETION ADVISED!
I’ve seen a lot of gross, weird stuff as a caretaker. I work with elderly folks too old to go to the bathroom, special needs kids who can barely open their mouth to chew… and Ms. Rareberd, the strangest, grossest coincidence of all.
BBRRRRRRRRRRRTTTLLLLLLTTT! “Ooooo.” Her moan was distincty pleasured and audible; I geuss I was supposed to remain oblivious in the other room. But I did hear it roar off her tight yoga pregnancy pants and the plastic of the bar stool chair. When I walked into the kitchen, I smelt it at full force. “So, umm, where do you want these bottles, Ms. Rareberd?” I asked through the smell of cabbage and dry beans. “Oh, just on the counter, Paulie. And hey, call me Danielle!” PPLLLLLTTTTT! A smaller fart, which was easier to not address-that is, if it wasn’t for the cheesy smell and Miss Rareberd, er, Danielle, breezing my hips with her butt. “Can you help me in the living room for a second?” she asked, already walking away. I put the box down and turned. BBLLUUMMPPTTT! A sour fart puntuated those asscheeks again-I got a glimpse of her flowing blonde hair blown outward on her lower back as the power of those hips unleashed a turkey and day old milk smell. “Yeah, no problem.” I mumbled.
Once her footsteps were away, I glanced at the stool; the cushioned was still rising from the weight of her belly, butt, and bombarding farts. I was intrigued and it was decided. I knelt down and pressed my face into the chair. The warmth of her ass and the ripe smell of farts hindered it’s comfort. I recoiled away in disgust-curiosity killed my appetite for discovery. Danielle was one weird woman indeed. I was hired to do tasks she seemed perfectly capable of doing at her pregnancy-still, she had me hang around. PPPLLLLLLRRTTLLUUBBTTT! I could hear another fart from two rooms down, an undoubtable pants stainer. A woman’s body tends to change during pregnancy, but I’d never experienced the kind of anal destruction on this scale. Not to mention, no father,(I didn’t ask) no income,(my company prevented me from asking) and a lavish house that could fit a family of five,(I just enjoyed the comfort of the fresh smelling carpet). FFBBRRRBBOOOOOOTTTTT! “Paulie, dear, are you coming?” she called. I sighed-she was allowed to call me anything and it disturbed me...in the sense that I was turned on. Danielle was the most gorgeous patient I’d worked with and getting paid to follow a MILF around the house was easy money in my book. Definitley something I didn’t want to cock up-metaphorically, at least. I followed her into the next room.
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No surprise, the living room smelled of a miasma of ass. But Danielle was full of surprises. “Oh my god, Danielle!” I knelt to her side as she lay in a fetal position on the floor. “Start breathing, ok, I’m going to call an ambulance-” PPPRRROOOOFFFFFSSSSSSS! I had little room to be polite as the roast beef silent fart pummeled my chest. Danielle was now giggling at my predicament. “I’m fine Paulie, thank you for asking. But I do need a favor. Help me take these off.”
I’d never been hesitant to take a patient’s stinky pants off-nothing scared me down there. But Danielle, with her luscious pregnant waist and firm backside- she was a different sort of scary. The scary that makes you question your own actions in a situation. “Ummm, okay.” I muttered. My fingers ran along her skin and fabric, slowly unfurling the pants downward. There was a lot to go. With half exposed glowing white asscheeks, I realized she had no underwear on. FFFBBUULLLRRRRBBBTTTT! The fart diversified as it’s sound barrier was taken away. I held my breath a little too late as the gnarly mustard-pickled fart rushed to greet my face. “Haha, that’s better said Danielle. The pants were pulled down to her knees and I politely looked away. “Is there-is there, umm, anything else?” God, how could I ask that question as a caretaker? “Yes there is,” said Danielle, reaching back to touch my knees. “Take those pants off.” BBLLLLLLLLLAAAAATTTTTTT! And here was where my client-patient confidentiality came into question.
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I tried desperately trying to explain Careco’s sexual harassment policies, our dedication of discretion and respect for our customers. Danielle had none of it. As I backed away and explained, she simply held a wild smile and began removing her shirt. “Unless, you have a medical problem with your...breasts or...any pain…”. PPPRRTTUURRAABBTTT! I watched her asscheeks giggle with glee as she rounded the corner. I tried to avoid eye contact as well, as her gorgeous blue eyes and cute nose led straight towards her breasts. There was no passive looking at her. Even her pregnant potbelly seemed to accentuate the heightened breasts and hips as they swayed towards me. FFFBBBBRRRRAAARRTTTT! She cornered me, next to an open kitchen window. I quickly drew the blinds to make sure no one called to have me fired. A naked Danielle pushed me into a chair and saddled me, nuzzling me against her breasts.
BBBRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT! “Ahhh, do you feel that, Paulie?” she cooed. I certainly did, a powerful toot aimed directly at my penis. Even though the company cargo shorts I could feel its impact. “You know I AM in pain, dear. I’ve been trying to clue you in, but you boys are so prudent these days. I feel a more direct approach is needed.” I could only gasp as she rose and I found her stark white cheeks spread directly in front of me. I drew a gulp as a cavern of ass crack engulfed part of my nose and I stared directly into a pink asshole. PPPPPPPRROOOSSSSS! I gagged and shook as it poked me, a slimy wet paste of shit smell tickling my skin. “Did you smell it, Paulie? No? Here, I’ll let you feel it.” BBTTLLLRRTTRRLLTT! This time I recoiled as her anus bubbled on my lips-along with something else. “Constipation, dearie. This little angel can’t wait nine months and I need a strong, cute little stork to help me...UGH, push it out.” FFLLOOOOOPPPTTT! She gave a final, gnarled fart before slowly maneuvering her cheeks across my face, chest, and hips. “Now, can a sista get some help, or do we need to make a call to your supervisor? I’m sure he’d be happy to help.”
My boss was an asshole, forgot to mention. So it came to be I was naked five minutes later in her living room.
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“I’m not sure this is...the right procedure...I can call for some pills or something.” I started. Danielle chuckled at my sexual incompetence, even when she was already sprawled on the couch. “I don’t need a doctor to do what a woman does naturally, Paulie. I know you’re a little small, but I just need a little extra...push.” BBBBBBRRRRTTTTT! She added another shit smelling toot to the room-really not helping. I sighed and she watched me from behind as I stood beside her spread asscheeks. “Far as you can go, little man. I’ll let you know when to stop.” she said. I took one last look into my patient's asshole; it impatiently puckered outward, letting tiny toots escape in protest. I sighed, and took the career venture of a lifetime.
I’d never done anal before and to be honest, I can barely recount the wondrous experience. It was almost like putting my tick in a time warp of good feelings. BBBRRTTT! PPTTOOTT! FFBBAATT! “Deeper,” she said sternly. I grunted, pressing as hard as I could go-oh god the rush! I pulled out, feeling little pockets of gas pop around my member. “No, focus on length, Paulie dear! Your plunging, not just fucking. In!” She didn’t need to tell me twice. I grunted and pushed, feeling my sausage enter a tighter and slimy corridor. FFBBBBAAARRRTTTT! I shook and smelled the greasy fart around my dick, smelling of old tuna and burned toast. “Deeper dear. Here, put your hands here.” Danielle had me almost crawl across her back as my hands were placed on her tummy. It felt weird, thinking about what the baby’s thoughts would be about this. PPLLOOOTTRRRLLLLTOORRRR! Danielle seemed to have no qualms as she sighed in pleasure and spread her own asscheeks. “There, now harder, with more force!”
I pushed in and out, with more grip to do so. Danielle also backed into me, creating a disgusting display of aggravated sex. PPLLOOORRRBTTT! PPPRRAATT! FFLLLTTRRUUSSHTHTT! If the smell was anything to go by, it was working. The farts came with no hindrance, every second a new smell of horrendous proportion. I tried to focus on my dick; I almost felt my lower half go numb. FFFRROOPPPLLLTTTT! Her asshole seemed to be consuming my hard on, inch by inch and I could feel my spine contort in strange configuration as I rode this magnificent beast. “Yes dear...almost...THERE! Pull out, go ahead!” Her words snapped me back into reality and I stumbled to release my cock.
FFFWWWOOLLLPPRRRLLSSTTTT! I gazed into the depths of her anus as it widened in the wet, sloppy fart. My curiousness and fulfillment turned to weariness and bewilderment, staring into the dark, red and pink gape I had created. No sooner had the vile stench hit my face, Danielle rose and pinned me against the couch. “Good boy, now open wide.” Those were the words I last heard as her pregnant booty covered me in darkness.
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I was panting in exhaustion, wide a gape. She seemed to have taken that as an opportunity. I shook my head and moaned in protest as her asshole filled my mouth. BBRROOOLLLOOOPPPTTTT! The fart echoed into my mouth with no escape-I swear I could feel it exit my ears and nose, forcing me to retake the harsh scent at every angle. Then, Danielle gave a hideous grunt. I slapped her ass, no regard for client respect as the large turd protruded in my mouth. She was too heavy and I could feel the force of her elephant cheeks tighten around my face in agreement. I was going nowhere, could do nothing. The solid turd instantly filled my mouth; I could see how this could constipate someone her size. “Shhh, it’s okay hon, you’ll be fine. I’ve done this before.” PPPSSSOOOPBBBTTTTT!
I remembered the awful shit taste filling every taste bud. I remembered my complete helplessness as it poured effortlessly into my mouth, much like a feeding tube I used on other patients. Her ass weighed down like a mountain, bellowing every fart it could conjure past the already monumental amount of shit exiting her asshole. I lost feeling; I went unconscious, tortured and afraid.
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I considered running for my life as Danielle’s ass was spread before me again. It looked a spawn of hell, gaped to the size of a baseball as she popped it open once more. FFOORRRRTTLLLLRBBBUUPPPTT! I moaned as it kissed my face, bringing my senses back to a harsh reality. Danielle sighed and sat on my face. “Shhh, quiet Paulie. I get quite gassy when I’m distressed.” BBRRRMMMPPTTT! I could only whimper as she scooted forward to pry my chin open. “Thank you so much for taking care of me-it’s like you're helping me make this thing myself.” Out of the corner of my eye I could see her pat her stomach while she giggled. It growled hungrily in response and I watched her asshole sputter open and shut. “Ohhh, I think we got everything out. But just in case I want you to tounge my butthole, as far as you can go. Again, I don’t have to emphasize your supervisor’s input, do I?”
She sat on my face and I felt my tounge drawn to the depths of her asshole FFLLOOOPPPPBBTTTT! BBBLLLLLLLLTTTT! PPPPPPPPRRRRRTTT! She sighed as I gagged and flittered my tounge in each direction, desperately hoping to be done...and that I wouldn’t unleash more shit into my stomach. “Thank you so much sweetie,” she whispered, plopping another foul fart in my mouth. I whimpered in response as she tugged on my dick. “I think I’ve come up with a name-Paulie, the nice caretaker who helped mommy take a load off.” FFFLLOOOORRRBBBTTT! For his sake and mine, I desperately wished she’d reconsider.