Imagine: Your man strolls through your front door and announces, "Baby, forget Must-See TV. Tonight, I want to worship your body, massage you head to heel, make love to you on a higher spiritual plane, then provoke an out-of-this-world orgasm so you reach a whole new pleasure plateau."
Probably, you'd think either you were dreaming or your guy had temporarily lost touch with reality. Well, in the case of tantric sex, you'd essentially be right on both counts. Tantra is the exotic art of prolonging your passion play to reach new levels of lusty satisfaction. "The idea is to build arousal very slowly so you both stay just below the boiling point for as long as possible," explains Nitya Lacroix, author of The Art of Tantric Sex. "That way you really focus on the full sexual journey — getting turned on, stimulating each of your five senses for maximum passion, harmonizing your sexual rhythms." The result is an out-of-body bond with your partner plus very physical ecstatic orgasms.
Inspired by the sexual success of these ancient love teachings (who wouldn't be?), Cosmo came up with its own turbo-charged version of tantra. Here, our updated, totally modern four-step passion program (plus twists on classic tantric moves) to tempt, tease, then thoroughly please. Grab your guy and get ready for a trip toward erotic enlightenment.
Tantra is all about brewing passion. So begin the slow burn toward nooky nirvana by creating an ambience conducive to this brand of spiritual sex. Now, the real deal calls for actually designing a sort of carnal shrine, but if you don't happen to have a spare romper room, or about 12 hours of free time on your hands, we say just pick a spot and clear it of clutter — turn off the phone and get rid of papers, files, and books that will distract you. "Create a calm atmosphere where you won't feel rushed or reminded of everyday responsibilities," says Lacroix. Make sure the room is toasty warm (you'll be naked for a while) and either dim the lights or scatter votive candles along the windowsills, shelves, and tables. Then, scent your love den. According to tantric philosophy, smells deliver a powerful punch to your sexuality. Burn libido-lifting incense (musk, sandalwood, and jasmine are particularly ardent aromas) or light a scented candle.
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When you enter this tantric love temple, you'll both be primed for a down-and-dirty divine time. But hands off — before you start stroking, turn up the heat even more by tuning in to each other and getting your sexual energy in sync. Cosmo's tantra trick: the sexual spoon. "Cuddle together in the traditional 'spoon' position," explains Kenneth Ray Stubbs, author of The Essential Tantra (JP Tarcher Putnam, 2000). "Curved together with arms around each other, pay attention to the rhythm of your partner's breathing and gradually begin to inhale and exhale together. Be so attuned to each other's body language that you become an extension of one another."
Once you're in sync physically, the next step is to bond spiritually. Yeah, we know, sounds a little loopy, but all it really means is giving each other your undivided attention so your focus doesn't wander to other things — like how your thighs look or how good George Clooney looks — and you get the most out of each heavenly moment. Cosmo's tantra trick: eye-rousal. Sit cross-legged across from each other and gaze into each other's eyes for a full minute or two. "The first time I tried tantra with my boyfriend, we couldn't stop giggling while trying to keep eye contact," says Angela, 27.* "Once we got over the nervousness, we became sort of spellbound and totally lost track of time. By locking eyes, we reached a deep level of intimacy that was incredibly hot and made sex really intense."
*Names have been changed.
You've plugged in to each other, now it's time to build on that bond with some hands-on seduction. But don't dive for your partner's private parts. Instead, stroke, caress, lick, and arouse every inch of each other's bodies by hitting nongenital places that don't usually get sexual attention. "This is especially important for men, who often get shortchanged when it comes to waking up the less obvious erogenous zones," says Lacroix. "They tend to focus just on their genital area, so they miss out on how incredible indirect stimulation can feel."
Christine, 29, titillates her guy by showering him with an erotic water trick. "We get in a warm bath and add a few drops of blue-tinted lavender oil," she says. "With little candles around the tub illuminating the blue bath, it feels almost tropical. Using a large glass, I pour warm water over his back, neck, and chest over and over. Then we'll switch and he'll douse my shoulders and breasts in a constant stream of blue liquid. It's so soothing and sensual."
Traditional tantra dictates doing these turn-on tricks for exhausting hours-long marathon stretches. But frankly, there's a point when you're just too plum worn-out to be wowed anymore. So we suggest you spend a steamy half hour using our desire-mounting moves, and if you crave more body worship, then go for a longer heavenly haul. Your ultimate, erotic mission is to set every nerve on fire, so go ahead and be creative.
Cosmo's Tantra Tricks
The Thigh-High: Squeeze a few drops of scented oil in your hands and place them on your guy's thigh just above his knee, says Stubbs. Gently knead as if you're wringing out a towel as you make your way north, building the sexual tension. When you get to the groin area, work the muscles around his private parts, but don't actually touch his penis.
The Nail-Road: Slowly trace figure eights as you run your nails down his inner thigh, his calf and along the ticklish arch of his foot to in between his first and second toes. Then, using more pressure, stroke his ultrasensitive Achilles tendon.
The Aural-Sex Rub: Gently massage his ear with your fingertips, working your way down the outer fold. Then run your pinkie along the crease where his ear connects to his head and ever-so-slowly prod the middle of his sexually susceptible inner ear with the tip of your tongue.
The Turn-Up-the-Heat Treat: "Slip berries or pieces of mango back and forth between your mouths," suggests Stubbs. "Or spill some champagne and let it bubble on each other's bodies before licking it off. Involve every sense, including taste, in your seduction."
By now you're both brimming with erotic anticipation. Here's where the tantra mantra of Build Up, Cool Down comes into play. "That means working up arousal so you're close to the point of no return, then letting it subside," says Lacroix. "You'll learn to get incredible pleasure by almost peaking, and the more times you repeat this buildup, the longer you'll both last and the more sexual tension will mount," climbing toward a mind-blowing climax. The key to riding this sexual roller coaster (and preventing reaching kingdom come too quickly) is taking a break whenever you feel yourself reach your orgasmic threshold. Just immediately stop what you're doing and focus on your breathing as you cool your sex jets.
Cosmo's Tantra Tricks
The Waterfall: Place your hand over his penis, fingertips resting lightly on his scrotum, and pour lubricant over the back of your hand so that it trickles between your fingers. Then place your hands on either side of his testicles and slowly, gently slide them up all the way to the tip of his penis. To let him cool down, ask your guy to do the same move on you, cupping his hand over your hot spot, letting the lube drip through his fingers, then spreading the oil up over your clitoris and pubic bone.
The Serpent: Very gently, stretch the shaft of his penis with one hand by pulling away from his body, and make a circle with the thumb and index finger of your other hand just under the head of his penis. Rotate the circle clockwise until your thumb naturally lifts all the way off the head, repeating the motion as long as he can stand it.
The Tantric Triangle Touch: With your legs open and bent, your guy inserts his index and middle fingers inside you until the tips are pressing upward just beyond your pubic bone in G-spot territory. He then makes a gentle "come here" movement with his fingers — caressing that sensitive oh-god area — while at the same time resting his other palm on your abdomen within reaching distance of your clitoris (with his fingers pointing up, his arms form a triangle). "I've never felt so aroused," says Lily, 24, whose boyfriend used this passion-revving move on her. "The combination of G-spot stroking, pressure on my pubic area and clitoris caressing created a pleasure triple-whammy. It was a kind of bliss I'd only read about in books with Fabio on the cover."
The passion between you is now at fever pitch. And those swells of arousal have primed you both for an otherworldly orgasm. "Remember to gaze into each other's eyes to keep you both in the moment and prevent you from going over the edge too fast," reminds Lacroix. Then when you're both ready, reach new heights of pleasure with one of Cosmo's seismic-climax positions:
The Tantra-X: Your guy sits cross-legged while you kneel over his lap, facing him. Place your calves under his knees so you don't crush his legs. As he enters you, use your thigh muscles to lower yourself up and down as slowly as possible. Keep your bodies close and stay aware of each other's breathing. At the same time, your hands are free to caress each other and your faces are level for eye contact — and deep kissing.
The Sexual Seesaw: Lie on your back with your pelvis tilted just slightly on a small pillow. Your sexual soul mate lifts your feet up so that your legs are folded/curled in, your knees almost resting on your breasts, and your soles resting on his chest. Holding your feet as he moves inside of you, he gets to control thrusting while you get G-spot stimulation. "My husband and I tried this position after two hours of teasing buildup," says Cathy, 30. "The deep penetration was incredible. I had an orgasm that was unlike anything I'd experienced before. The wildest part was it seemed to last forever — every time I thought the climax peaked, it got more intense." Talk about enlightenment!