18
—
The Longest Day of My Life III
WE WANTED TO LEAVE NO TRAIL OF OUR PRESENCE. FOR the first time in years,
we walked to the insti instead of using Ryan’s scooter. We walked quietly past the hostels,
with books in hand as if going to the library for some midnight reading.
“So why did your parents start looking for your sister so early, how old is she?” I
whispered, nervous as hell.
“Just twenty-three. I think they should look for a boy only when I start working. It would
be much easier for me to get a loan,” Alok said.
I agreed.
“If I get a job that is. Not much out there for a miserable five-pointer,” he said.
“Well, maybe this A will lift you up a bit,” I said.
“Shh,” Ryan said as we reached the insti building.
We were being overcautious, as we scanned every corner for insti security guards. They
never hung around the lobby at this time, and we’d sneaked up the stairs dozens of times for
our vodka sessions. But we still split up and looked around all sides of the building – there
was no one.
Cherian’s office was on the sixth floor. There was minimal lighting on the stairs, and we
counted aloud as we finished each flight of stairs.
“…and six. That is it guys. We get out, and Cherian’s office is seventh door on the right,”
Ryan said.
We stepped on to the sixth floor. There was only one small bulb lighting the entire
corridor.
“D C Cherian, Head of the Department. Bloody pig,” Ryan said as he read the nameplate
outside Cherian’s office. Alok crouched behind me as Ryan examined the lock.
“Keys,” Ryan extended his left hand.
I took out my bunch of keys and they jingled as if on stereo.
“Keep it quiet,” Alok said.
“Stop being so scared, Fatso. No one knows we’re here.” He was freaking me out.
“Ryan, find the right key man,” I said.
“I’m trying. There are like a million of them in this bunch. Wait this one, no this one, no
this… ah I think this is it.”
“It is?” Alok looked dazed.
Ryan opened the bolt in one stroke, kicking the door open. There it was, the lair of the
head of the department of IIT Delhi Mechanical Engineering was ours. Ryan searched the
wall and flicked the light open.
“What are you doing?” Alok asked.
“How else will we search, Fatso? Just relax, no one can see us. Take your time and
search. And I want to search for something else too.”
“What?”
“My lube project proposal. Cherian bloody stuck it in his office and it got nowhere. Prof
Veera told me there is a copy here somewhere with his comments.”
“Whatever Ryan. Can we search for the paper first?”
“Where do we start?” Alok said as he scanned the piles of paper kept on Cherian’s
shelves. This could take all night.
“Look for brown bags with a red wax seal. They always open the seal at the time of the
papers,” Ryan said.
We divided the shelves to save time, and started a quick scan. I ran through journals,
administrative documents, course outlines and timetables. Nothing for twenty minutes.
“Anything?” I asked.
Ryan and Alok shook their heads. Ten minutes later, Ryan stepped back and sat on
Cherian’s chair.
“What?” I said.
“I have checked my shelves. There is nothing in mine. Got my lube project though. He just
says ‘no commercial viability or academic value’. What a prick.”
“Well, I can’t find anything either. Do you want to help?” I said.
“Red seal and brown bag. Indem Majors - Confidential. Is this what you are looking for
gentlemen?” Alok said and waved the bag in front of us.
We jumped up.
“Fatso, this is it man!” Ryan said.
“Yes,” I said as we hi-fived each other.
“I cannot believe it,” Alok said.
“That is because you don’t trust me. Though we still have stuff to do. So, wait while I
deal with this seal,” Ryan said as he emptied his pockets. A blade, candle, lighter and some
wax to re-seal the bag.
“Man, you come prepared,” Alok said, not able to resist a smile of relief.
“Well, what do you expect? Give me a few minutes now.” Ryan held the blade between
his thumb and the forefinger and got to work. He slowly sliced the seal open as neatly as
possible.
“Where did you learn all this?” I was impressed.
“I am training to be an engineer. This is not that hard to figure out. Now keep quiet,” Ryan
said.
“How long?” Alok said as sat down on the chair opposite to Cherian’s. “Ten minutes.
Quiet now else I’ll rip off some of the paper,” Ryan said. Two minutes passed. I looked at
Alok, who sat with his hands in his face. I could tell he was thinking about home again.
“I hope Dad feels better soon. He can really fall sick if he doesn’t eat properly. I wish I
could do something.”
Given Alok’s family’s love for food, I was pretty sure either of them would fall sick if
deprived of it.
“Don’t worry, it is nobody’s fault. The guy’s side seems too greedy if you ask me,” I
consoled.
“They are all the same. I just want to check on Dad. If only the bloody phone in Kumaon
was working,” Alok said.
“Yes!” Ryan said as he opened the seal with minimal damage. There were a hundred
crisp sheets inside. The fresh copies of the major paper!
“Wow, it’s the paper. Let me see it,” I said.
“No. I know you guys. You’ll just start discussing it right now. I am keeping this with me
until we wrap up and get out of here,” Ryan said.
“What else needs to be done,” Alok said.
“I have to put a fresh seal. Why do you think I brought the candle?” Ryan said.
“Anyway, I think he’ll take another million hours to finish,” Alok said.
“Hurry up, Ryan,” I said.
“Shut up,” he said as he heated a fresh blob of wax on the candle. He looked like a
craftsman intently at work.
“Hey Hari, Cherian’s office has a phone,” Alok said.
“Yes, it’s right there,” I said, pointing to the bookshelves where the instrument was kept.
“Maybe I can just make a quick call from here,” Alok said.
“Really? Don’t you want to wait and call from outside?”
“It’ll get really late. Besides, I just need to check how Dad is. What else do we have to
do now?”
“Okay,” I shrugged.
Alok stood up and went near the phone.
“I think you have to dial nine to get an outside line,” I said.
“Now what the heck are you guys doing? Can’t you just sit still,” Ryan scolded as he
spooned molten wax from the fresh seal.
“Just calling home for a minute. It is too much to wait for you to finish,” Alok said.
“Can’t you call from outside,” Ryan said, “or you are too cheap to spend a buck.”
“I just need a minute. You just pay attention to the seal,” Alok said as he dialled the
number.
He got through pretty soon, and it was clear that his mother had been waiting for Alok to
call back. Alok hardly spoke, as his mother vented about her miserable life and the hapless
fate of his didi.
Ryan continued dabbing some fresh wax on the underside of the old seal. I tried to pass
my time flipping through Ryan’s lube proposal. This is when the wires got ahead of us.
I did not know this then, but this is how the insti phone system works. Each prof has a
phone in the room that is part of the IIT network. One uses it mainly to dial internal campus
numbers. To dial outside, the network connects to a few external lines. When nine is
pressed, the internal phone requests an external line, and the campus telecom exchange
switches the lines. A control switchboard in the telecom exchange does this automatically.
The switchboard lights up a small red bulb for every engaged line. Every time one requests
an external line, the light turns green. This control room is in the institute security office on
the ground floor of the insti building. One night operator and a guard sit there at night,
mostly gossiping and snoozing through their shift. So, a little red bulb lit up on one of the
sixth floor phones, and then that red bulb turned green. What was Prof Cherian doing in his
room this time of the night? the guard wondered. The operator had the option to listen in to
the conversation if he wanted, and he did. This wasn’t Prof Cherian. It was a mother
reciting the sad tale of her daughter to someone called Alok. The security guard opened his
walkie talkie, and requested patrolling guards to check on Cherian’s room. The patrolling
guard was joined by another guard as he walked up to the sixth floor.
Unfortunately, like I said, we did not know all this then.
“There are some comments given on some of the pages though,” I said.
“All crap. Cherian just didn’t want to give this project a shot. I have demonstrated results
of efficiency improvements. How could he close this because of no viability? That bastard,
ouch!” A drop of wax fell on his fingers.
“Don’t worry. You concentrate on the seal. And hurry up, Alok,” I said.
The two guards came and stood outside our door. They must have been standing there for
two minutes before they opened the door. A lit candle, melted wax, someone on the prof’s
chair, a few strewn papers. The guards did not need to be too educated to figure it out.
Alok dropped the phone from his hand as he froze. His poor mother must have felt the
phone go dead again. Actually, we all went dead. I froze in my chair too, and I don’t know
how, but Ryan figured out what to say first.
“Oh, guard sahib. Hello, come in let me explain,” he said, trying to be as calm as
possible.
“Who are you?”
“Guard sahib,” Ryan said as he stood up, almost ready to dash out if needed. Alok and I
came up behind him as well, waiting for any sudden instructions.
“Don’t come near us,” the guard said, “we are calling the prof now.”
“Oh no guard sahib, listen to us,” Ryan said as he went near the door. It was clear we had
to make a dash now.
The guard picked up our intentions or something, or maybe he was just scared and stupid.
He backed off, and shut us inside the office. We heard him bolt the door and tell his fellow
guard to call the prof and the chief security officer. Ryan tried calling the guard again, but it
was to no avail. There we were, three of us locked in Cherian’s office on the sixth floor at
midnight.
We didn’t say a word, we just looked at each other’s faces. We could do nothing but wait
and wait and wait. The longest day of my life wouldn’t get over…
Five Point Someone What not to do at IIT Novel Chetan Bhagat
Re: Five Point Someone What not to do at IIT Novel Chetan Bh
19
—
The Longest Day of My Life IV
I KIND OF WENT INSIDE MYSELF IN THAT SHORT SPAN OF time before Cherian’s
office door opened again and sealed our fate, just sat quietly and ignored what Ryan and
Alok said, that is if they did say anything. Future scenes erupted in my mind. By tomorrow
morning, all profs, all students at Kumaon and other hostels would know about us. Caught
stealing the major paper from Prof Cherian’s office, no less! Probably the insti director
would also come on this special occasion. Cherian would get us all shot if he could, but
either way he would definitely not go easy on us. What did they call it? Disciplinary
Committee or Disco, for deciding the fate of the students who broke discipline. Suddenly,
my five-point GPA seemed wonderful to me. If only I could pass out of this place with a
simple job and this could all be over. But even keeping that GPA and passing out was not
going to be easy now. Will Cherian soften if we grovelled? Should we just deny that we
had come here to cheat? Should we just admit everything and apologize? Can we just
rewind a few minutes and stop Alok from making that call? Could I just re-live this one
day?
These stupid questions darted about like rabbits inside my head. I took a deep breath; we
just had to live through these moments.
“Someone’s come,” Ryan said and we stood up. The bolt was opened and around ten
people swarmed in. I recognized the two security guards and the chief security officer by
their uniforms. The other guy with them was the telephone exchange operator, I knew since
he wore an insti uniform. These morons with dull jobs were the heroes of the day.
And then it was a couple of profs from the Mechanical Engineering department. Even
Prof Veera was there. And of course, there was the man whose office we had temporarily
occupied – Cherian. He stood there shocked, wondering how his office was broken into so
cleanly. It was the Who’s Who of IIT, most of them in their pajamas. People get more pissed
off if they are disturbed in their pajamas.
The guard told everyone to come inside the room, keeping an eye on us as if we’d try to
make a dash again.
“You?” Cherian said, looking straight at me. He must have been wondering: his daughter
in the morning and his office in the evening. I’d be pissed if someone screwed all over my
life in one day.
“What are you doing here?” Prof Veera said, probably aware of what we had been up to.
The guard had told everyone what he had seen a million times; the candle, the seal and the
major papers. Maybe Prof Veera was just giving us a chance to verbalize a good lie to get
out of this.
We said nothing, hoping silence would evaporate us.
“Cheating, sir, stealing major paper. My boys caught them,” the security chief said, proud
as if they had broken a CIA ring.
“You were stealing the paper from my office? How did you get in?” Cherian asked me
directly.
“You know him?” one of the profs asked Cherian.
“Not really. I have just seen him in class, a very poor student. He was even drunk in my
viva, you know Dean Shastri. Yes, that is the only time I remember him from, Hari Kumar,
isn’t it?”
I guess Cherian did not want to mention our morning tryst to the rest of the profs.
“And the others? What are your names?” the Dean said.
“Alok Gupta, sir. Kumaon hostel, Mechanical Engineering,” Alok said.
“Ryan Oberoi, same,” Ryan said.
“And you think you are too smart?” the Dean said.
“No sir. That is why we wanted the paper, sir,” Ryan said.
Slap! The Dean slapped Ryan right across the face. I don’t blame him, Ryan could have
chosen a better time to make a wisecrack.
Slap! Slap! Before I realized what was happening, the Dean deposited a slap on Alok and
me as well.
God, I tell you, it was humiliating. Profs, security guards and Cherian all staring at us
while our faces turned red on the left. But we kept quiet. I secretly hoped they would all
slap us and get it out of their system. Heck, they could trash us senseless as long as that was
the only punishment. Please don’t do a Disco and screw with our career.
“You are criminals. You realize? You are criminals. Call the police,” Cherian said, his
whole being trembling, as if he was the one being slapped around.
He was walking to the phone when Prof Veera spoke, “Cherian sir, one minute before you
call the police sir, this will become a big deal.”
“It is a big deal,” Cherian screamed out loud. Just slap us, Cherian, I thought. I know he
wanted to, especially me.
“Dean Shastri, you explain to him. Police will mean the case will hit the papers. I mean,
do you really want IIT in the news for all the wrong reasons,” Prof Veera reasoned.
“Hmmm,” Dean Shastri said, rubbing his hands.
“Sir, we have mechanisms in the insti to deal with this, right? The police will not arrive
without reporters,” Prof Veera said.
“Veera might be right. I don’t want the IIT name in mud because of these miscreants.”
Even in this situation, I felt the word ‘miscreant’ was quite cute and funny. I almost
smiled.
“Sir, I don’t want to spoil the IIT name either. But I want these boys to suffer. Who do
they think they are?” Cherian said as he stopped cuddling the phone.
“I agree, this is quite outrageous. We cannot decide their fate so easily. We have a
mechanism, not that we use it often. Take them to Disco.”
It was time for us to shiver as we heard the last word. Maybe our silence was not so
golden after all. Do something oh clever Ryan, I wanted to say but he stood silent. Only
Alok did something. In his usual manner, he began to cry.
“Sir, please sir. We are so sorry, sir…” he said.
“No more discussion. Bloody standard of these students falling every year. We’ll talk in
an urgent Disco – tomorrow!” declared the Dean.
“Dean sir, you can test intelligence in entrance exams, but how to test for integrity?” the
security chief said. He probably got less credit for his achievement that night.
A crowd gathered around the Kumaon hostel notice board the next morning. On a small
piece of paper, the size of a bank cheque, the short notice was enough to start long
conversations.
“This is to inform that there will be a Disciplinary Committee meeting starting at
10:00 pm tonight in the Mechanical Engineering Department Conference Room. The
agenda of the meeting is to decide the course of action for alleged disciplinary breaches
by Hari Kumar (Kumaon), Alok Gupta (Kumaon) and Ryan Oberoi (Kumaon) on April
11.”
The three of us were too ashamed to come to the notice board. We cut through the crowd
as quickly as possible, even though we heard some questions.
“What happened?” said Anurag, “skipping too many classes or what?”
“That doesn’t lead to a Disco. Must be something else.”
“I think this is big. They are holding the Disco in one day,” another Kumaonite said.
“Yes, at night too. Something to do with the Mechanical Engineering department.”
We let the smart inmates of Kumaon figure out what was going on. We simply looked
down and headed out of campus. Courtesy Neha, I knew a few places where no one would
find us. The ice-cream parlour seemed perfect. Alok reached straight for the counter and
came back with three strawberry cones.
“Ryan, you got cash? I don’t have any,” Alok said, passing us our treats.
“Fatso, you can’t resist food even at this time,” I said.
“It is ice-cream man. Just trying to distract myself, you know I didn’t sleep for two
seconds last night.”
“Me neither,” I said.
“What do you think they’ll do?” Alok said.
“Maybe an F in Indem,” Ryan hazarded a guess.
“An F! I have never got an F. And we’ll have to repeat the course,” Alok said.
“I know. But it is not the end of the world,” Ryan said.
“Are you guys dreaming? They will hold a night-time Disco with all these profs and all to
give just us a measly F?” I said.
Ryan and Alok looked at me as if I just stolen the cherry off their ice-cream.
“Sir, come to reality. The Disco meets rarely. And when they do, they have no mercy.”
“So what can they do?” Alok said.
“They could expel you from college. Or more commonly, suspend you for a year or a
semester.”
“Expel?” Alok said, shivering as if the ice-cream had given him a cold.
“They won’t expel. That has never happened. Even to people who have been caught
stuffing coke bottles you know where,” Ryan said.
“They could suspend you for a semester or a year. That is enough to fuck your future. You
try getting a job after that,” I said.
“For a whole semester? What will we do then?” Alok said. Looked like our man was just
waking up.
I kept silent. Ryan finished his strawberry cone and tossed the tissue straight into the bin.
“Say something guys. What will happen then?”
“Figure it out Fatso. Your grade sheet will have no grades for a semester or two. It may
actually have ‘suspended’ stamped all over it. Makes for a great conversation starter in a
job interview, eh?” Ryan said.
“I think no one will give you a job, the bloody US types take this cheating stuff pretty
seriously. No admission to MBA colleges either – they will ask the same in an interview.”
“In other words, our lives are screwed,” I said, noticing I had not touched my ice-cream.
The cone was a gooey mess, I passed it to Ryan to chuck into the bin.
“And you guys are calm about it? How can you be so calm about it? What will my parents
think? What will happen to Didi?” Alok said, putting his elbows on the table and pulling at
his hair. Then he tucked his face in his arms, to hide his tears.
“Who the hell says I am calm about it?” Ryan said and stood up, his voice loud enough to
stir the sleepy cashier at the counter.
“Be quiet and sit down. There might be people from the insti here,” I said.
“Fuck the people. And fuck the insti. And fuck this Fatso who feels only he loses sleep at
night and cares about his future! Wake up Mr Alok, this is not the time to cry and pull hair.
We have a bloody Disco in ten hours, and maybe we should think about how we are going to
answer the bloody profs.”
“Oh yes,” Alok stood up this time. I guess it is easier to shout when you are standing up.
“Oh yes, Mr Ryan,” Alok said, “so it is you with all the brains to think strategy at this
moment. I say, fuck you and your strategy. What happened to Operation Pendulum?”
It was pointless for me to try and keep them quiet. They needed this I guess.
“Operation Pendulum? You are telling me that was bad strategy? Which bloody baby had
to call Mom?” Ryan said.
“Oh yes. And which IITian in history breaks into a prof’s office? ‘Nothing can happen’.
My bloody ass nothing can happen.”
They argued for five minutes after which I broke into tears. They were coming on their
own, even though I didn’t think this Disco would get the better of me. Man, I was crying like
Alok. It was embarrassing as hell, but at least they noticed me.
“What is wrong with you now?” Ryan said.
“Nothing. Just stop shouting both of you. This won’t help. We need each other now.”
“He is right. Sit down, Fatso,” Ryan said.
All of us sat in the ice-cream parlour for the next five hours. Over two banana toffee
cones, one mint chocolate chip and three raspberry delights we figured out the best
arguments to save our lives. There was little hope, but we had to do what we could. Our
strategy was hardly creative – it was to be honest, stay calm and beg for mercy. We only
reached Kumaon at six p.m., where I had at least six phone messages from Prof Veera. He
wanted to see us before the Disco, and we agreed to meet him at nine.
“You got duplicate what made?” Prof Veera asked again, more in shock at the story we had
told him.
“Keys sir. For six rupees at Jia Sarai,” I said.
Prof Veera sat back in his chair and burst into laughter.
“This is incredible. I have never heard this in IIT. So Ryan, you thought you could just go
into the head of department’s office and steal the paper and end up with an A.”
“Yes sir,” Ryan said in a suitably humble voice.
“And you Hari went and sneaked out the keys from Neha, who you say is your girlfriend,
so that you could steal from her dad’s office.”
“That is correct, sir,” I said.
“And you Alok, just went along with this crazy plan of theirs.”
“They are my friends, sir,” Alok said.
I have to say this statement touched me. For a moment, I forgot the hell around me and felt
good that Alok found that reason enough.
“You guys are idiots. You know, just big idiots, that is what you are,” Prof Veera said. He
seemed pretty harsh, but we liked him. Besides, he was right.
“Sir, we almost made it. Alok made this phone call…” Ryan said.
“Almost made it?” Prof Veera interrupted, “is that what it is all about? You think I am
calling you an idiot because you got caught?” The tone of Prof Veera’s voice had become
firmer. This was the closest he got to being real mad.
“You, Ryan Oberoi, I thought was one of the most brilliant students we had ever had.
Your lube project was the best work I have seen come out of a student. I don’t care about
your grades at all. But you were stupid enough to risk your future for a stupid letter on your
grade sheet.”
Ryan hung his head.
“And the three of you are best friends. But none of you was able to stop each other from
this madness. You know Cherian would have thrown you into jail.”
“Sir, we’ll say we are sorry sir. Maybe they will be kind,” Alok said.
“Kind? This is the Disco, not Mother Teresa’s home. You saw Cherian’s face,” Prof
Veera said.
The three of us became silent. We could hear the clock ticking in Prof Veera’s office. It
was nine-thirty.
“So what is your plea to the Disco? Guilty or not guilty?” Prof Veera said.
“Guilty. They caught us red-handed sir,” I said.
“Hmm. I think the first thing you have to do is get the expulsion stuff out of the way,” Prof
Veera said.
“You mean there is a chance?” Alok said.
“Not too high, unless Cherian is hell-bent on it. What are you going to say about the
keys?” Prof Veera said.
“I don’t want to bring Neha into this. I thought we’d just say we collected lots of keys and
tried them until one worked,” I said.
“Why not tell them the truth? You have told me everything,” Prof Veera said.
“I don’t want Neha to know,” I said.
“Listen boys, I am trying to help you here. I think you are in a big mess but if you can
twist this a bit, you may save yourself some trouble.”
“Like how?”
“One, we should try and present some alternatives of punishment. I will be there, so I can
suggest an F in the course, a public apology and hundred hours of community service.”
“What is community service?” Ryan said.
“Just helping around in the campus – painting cycle parks or planting trees - that kind of
stuff,” Prof Veera said.
“I hate that stuff,” Ryan said.
“Shut up Ryan. That is fine. Please continue sir,” I said.
“Two, I want you to twist the story a bit. I hate lying, but you won’t have much of a
chance other wise. So, instead of saying you tried different keys, say that Neha gave the keys
to you,” Prof Veera said.
“What?” all three of us said in unison.
“Listen, if you say that you know Neha, and somehow she was upset with her father and
gave you the keys to get even, it will get personal. The Disco committee will think you
didn’t actually break in. I don’t know, they may see right through it, but I think you should
take a chance.”
“What will Neha think when she finds out?” I said, “No way we can do this.”
“An upset girlfriend is better than a tainted degree and no jobs after college,” Prof Veera
said.
“Prof Veera is right Hari,” Ryan said, “you bring Cherian’s family into this and he may
withdraw. Last thing he wants is everyone to know that you are his daughter’s boyfriend.”
“But this will let the whole world know,” I said.
“You don’t have to tell the whole story. Just say Neha is a recent friend of yours. I am
sure Cherian will not dispute that,” Alok said.
“Alok, even you think this is the way?” I said.
“Yes, we have to save our ass right? C’mon, it is just a last-ditch survival strategy. Lastditch
survival,” Alok said.
I hated myself for agreeing to that story. What would Neha think when she heard what I
said? That she helped me by giving the keys? She’d probably hate me forever. The clock
struck ten, and it was time to go to the departmental committee room.
Romance was secondary to survival right now.
Completed 119 pages..
—
The Longest Day of My Life IV
I KIND OF WENT INSIDE MYSELF IN THAT SHORT SPAN OF time before Cherian’s
office door opened again and sealed our fate, just sat quietly and ignored what Ryan and
Alok said, that is if they did say anything. Future scenes erupted in my mind. By tomorrow
morning, all profs, all students at Kumaon and other hostels would know about us. Caught
stealing the major paper from Prof Cherian’s office, no less! Probably the insti director
would also come on this special occasion. Cherian would get us all shot if he could, but
either way he would definitely not go easy on us. What did they call it? Disciplinary
Committee or Disco, for deciding the fate of the students who broke discipline. Suddenly,
my five-point GPA seemed wonderful to me. If only I could pass out of this place with a
simple job and this could all be over. But even keeping that GPA and passing out was not
going to be easy now. Will Cherian soften if we grovelled? Should we just deny that we
had come here to cheat? Should we just admit everything and apologize? Can we just
rewind a few minutes and stop Alok from making that call? Could I just re-live this one
day?
These stupid questions darted about like rabbits inside my head. I took a deep breath; we
just had to live through these moments.
“Someone’s come,” Ryan said and we stood up. The bolt was opened and around ten
people swarmed in. I recognized the two security guards and the chief security officer by
their uniforms. The other guy with them was the telephone exchange operator, I knew since
he wore an insti uniform. These morons with dull jobs were the heroes of the day.
And then it was a couple of profs from the Mechanical Engineering department. Even
Prof Veera was there. And of course, there was the man whose office we had temporarily
occupied – Cherian. He stood there shocked, wondering how his office was broken into so
cleanly. It was the Who’s Who of IIT, most of them in their pajamas. People get more pissed
off if they are disturbed in their pajamas.
The guard told everyone to come inside the room, keeping an eye on us as if we’d try to
make a dash again.
“You?” Cherian said, looking straight at me. He must have been wondering: his daughter
in the morning and his office in the evening. I’d be pissed if someone screwed all over my
life in one day.
“What are you doing here?” Prof Veera said, probably aware of what we had been up to.
The guard had told everyone what he had seen a million times; the candle, the seal and the
major papers. Maybe Prof Veera was just giving us a chance to verbalize a good lie to get
out of this.
We said nothing, hoping silence would evaporate us.
“Cheating, sir, stealing major paper. My boys caught them,” the security chief said, proud
as if they had broken a CIA ring.
“You were stealing the paper from my office? How did you get in?” Cherian asked me
directly.
“You know him?” one of the profs asked Cherian.
“Not really. I have just seen him in class, a very poor student. He was even drunk in my
viva, you know Dean Shastri. Yes, that is the only time I remember him from, Hari Kumar,
isn’t it?”
I guess Cherian did not want to mention our morning tryst to the rest of the profs.
“And the others? What are your names?” the Dean said.
“Alok Gupta, sir. Kumaon hostel, Mechanical Engineering,” Alok said.
“Ryan Oberoi, same,” Ryan said.
“And you think you are too smart?” the Dean said.
“No sir. That is why we wanted the paper, sir,” Ryan said.
Slap! The Dean slapped Ryan right across the face. I don’t blame him, Ryan could have
chosen a better time to make a wisecrack.
Slap! Slap! Before I realized what was happening, the Dean deposited a slap on Alok and
me as well.
God, I tell you, it was humiliating. Profs, security guards and Cherian all staring at us
while our faces turned red on the left. But we kept quiet. I secretly hoped they would all
slap us and get it out of their system. Heck, they could trash us senseless as long as that was
the only punishment. Please don’t do a Disco and screw with our career.
“You are criminals. You realize? You are criminals. Call the police,” Cherian said, his
whole being trembling, as if he was the one being slapped around.
He was walking to the phone when Prof Veera spoke, “Cherian sir, one minute before you
call the police sir, this will become a big deal.”
“It is a big deal,” Cherian screamed out loud. Just slap us, Cherian, I thought. I know he
wanted to, especially me.
“Dean Shastri, you explain to him. Police will mean the case will hit the papers. I mean,
do you really want IIT in the news for all the wrong reasons,” Prof Veera reasoned.
“Hmmm,” Dean Shastri said, rubbing his hands.
“Sir, we have mechanisms in the insti to deal with this, right? The police will not arrive
without reporters,” Prof Veera said.
“Veera might be right. I don’t want the IIT name in mud because of these miscreants.”
Even in this situation, I felt the word ‘miscreant’ was quite cute and funny. I almost
smiled.
“Sir, I don’t want to spoil the IIT name either. But I want these boys to suffer. Who do
they think they are?” Cherian said as he stopped cuddling the phone.
“I agree, this is quite outrageous. We cannot decide their fate so easily. We have a
mechanism, not that we use it often. Take them to Disco.”
It was time for us to shiver as we heard the last word. Maybe our silence was not so
golden after all. Do something oh clever Ryan, I wanted to say but he stood silent. Only
Alok did something. In his usual manner, he began to cry.
“Sir, please sir. We are so sorry, sir…” he said.
“No more discussion. Bloody standard of these students falling every year. We’ll talk in
an urgent Disco – tomorrow!” declared the Dean.
“Dean sir, you can test intelligence in entrance exams, but how to test for integrity?” the
security chief said. He probably got less credit for his achievement that night.
A crowd gathered around the Kumaon hostel notice board the next morning. On a small
piece of paper, the size of a bank cheque, the short notice was enough to start long
conversations.
“This is to inform that there will be a Disciplinary Committee meeting starting at
10:00 pm tonight in the Mechanical Engineering Department Conference Room. The
agenda of the meeting is to decide the course of action for alleged disciplinary breaches
by Hari Kumar (Kumaon), Alok Gupta (Kumaon) and Ryan Oberoi (Kumaon) on April
11.”
The three of us were too ashamed to come to the notice board. We cut through the crowd
as quickly as possible, even though we heard some questions.
“What happened?” said Anurag, “skipping too many classes or what?”
“That doesn’t lead to a Disco. Must be something else.”
“I think this is big. They are holding the Disco in one day,” another Kumaonite said.
“Yes, at night too. Something to do with the Mechanical Engineering department.”
We let the smart inmates of Kumaon figure out what was going on. We simply looked
down and headed out of campus. Courtesy Neha, I knew a few places where no one would
find us. The ice-cream parlour seemed perfect. Alok reached straight for the counter and
came back with three strawberry cones.
“Ryan, you got cash? I don’t have any,” Alok said, passing us our treats.
“Fatso, you can’t resist food even at this time,” I said.
“It is ice-cream man. Just trying to distract myself, you know I didn’t sleep for two
seconds last night.”
“Me neither,” I said.
“What do you think they’ll do?” Alok said.
“Maybe an F in Indem,” Ryan hazarded a guess.
“An F! I have never got an F. And we’ll have to repeat the course,” Alok said.
“I know. But it is not the end of the world,” Ryan said.
“Are you guys dreaming? They will hold a night-time Disco with all these profs and all to
give just us a measly F?” I said.
Ryan and Alok looked at me as if I just stolen the cherry off their ice-cream.
“Sir, come to reality. The Disco meets rarely. And when they do, they have no mercy.”
“So what can they do?” Alok said.
“They could expel you from college. Or more commonly, suspend you for a year or a
semester.”
“Expel?” Alok said, shivering as if the ice-cream had given him a cold.
“They won’t expel. That has never happened. Even to people who have been caught
stuffing coke bottles you know where,” Ryan said.
“They could suspend you for a semester or a year. That is enough to fuck your future. You
try getting a job after that,” I said.
“For a whole semester? What will we do then?” Alok said. Looked like our man was just
waking up.
I kept silent. Ryan finished his strawberry cone and tossed the tissue straight into the bin.
“Say something guys. What will happen then?”
“Figure it out Fatso. Your grade sheet will have no grades for a semester or two. It may
actually have ‘suspended’ stamped all over it. Makes for a great conversation starter in a
job interview, eh?” Ryan said.
“I think no one will give you a job, the bloody US types take this cheating stuff pretty
seriously. No admission to MBA colleges either – they will ask the same in an interview.”
“In other words, our lives are screwed,” I said, noticing I had not touched my ice-cream.
The cone was a gooey mess, I passed it to Ryan to chuck into the bin.
“And you guys are calm about it? How can you be so calm about it? What will my parents
think? What will happen to Didi?” Alok said, putting his elbows on the table and pulling at
his hair. Then he tucked his face in his arms, to hide his tears.
“Who the hell says I am calm about it?” Ryan said and stood up, his voice loud enough to
stir the sleepy cashier at the counter.
“Be quiet and sit down. There might be people from the insti here,” I said.
“Fuck the people. And fuck the insti. And fuck this Fatso who feels only he loses sleep at
night and cares about his future! Wake up Mr Alok, this is not the time to cry and pull hair.
We have a bloody Disco in ten hours, and maybe we should think about how we are going to
answer the bloody profs.”
“Oh yes,” Alok stood up this time. I guess it is easier to shout when you are standing up.
“Oh yes, Mr Ryan,” Alok said, “so it is you with all the brains to think strategy at this
moment. I say, fuck you and your strategy. What happened to Operation Pendulum?”
It was pointless for me to try and keep them quiet. They needed this I guess.
“Operation Pendulum? You are telling me that was bad strategy? Which bloody baby had
to call Mom?” Ryan said.
“Oh yes. And which IITian in history breaks into a prof’s office? ‘Nothing can happen’.
My bloody ass nothing can happen.”
They argued for five minutes after which I broke into tears. They were coming on their
own, even though I didn’t think this Disco would get the better of me. Man, I was crying like
Alok. It was embarrassing as hell, but at least they noticed me.
“What is wrong with you now?” Ryan said.
“Nothing. Just stop shouting both of you. This won’t help. We need each other now.”
“He is right. Sit down, Fatso,” Ryan said.
All of us sat in the ice-cream parlour for the next five hours. Over two banana toffee
cones, one mint chocolate chip and three raspberry delights we figured out the best
arguments to save our lives. There was little hope, but we had to do what we could. Our
strategy was hardly creative – it was to be honest, stay calm and beg for mercy. We only
reached Kumaon at six p.m., where I had at least six phone messages from Prof Veera. He
wanted to see us before the Disco, and we agreed to meet him at nine.
“You got duplicate what made?” Prof Veera asked again, more in shock at the story we had
told him.
“Keys sir. For six rupees at Jia Sarai,” I said.
Prof Veera sat back in his chair and burst into laughter.
“This is incredible. I have never heard this in IIT. So Ryan, you thought you could just go
into the head of department’s office and steal the paper and end up with an A.”
“Yes sir,” Ryan said in a suitably humble voice.
“And you Hari went and sneaked out the keys from Neha, who you say is your girlfriend,
so that you could steal from her dad’s office.”
“That is correct, sir,” I said.
“And you Alok, just went along with this crazy plan of theirs.”
“They are my friends, sir,” Alok said.
I have to say this statement touched me. For a moment, I forgot the hell around me and felt
good that Alok found that reason enough.
“You guys are idiots. You know, just big idiots, that is what you are,” Prof Veera said. He
seemed pretty harsh, but we liked him. Besides, he was right.
“Sir, we almost made it. Alok made this phone call…” Ryan said.
“Almost made it?” Prof Veera interrupted, “is that what it is all about? You think I am
calling you an idiot because you got caught?” The tone of Prof Veera’s voice had become
firmer. This was the closest he got to being real mad.
“You, Ryan Oberoi, I thought was one of the most brilliant students we had ever had.
Your lube project was the best work I have seen come out of a student. I don’t care about
your grades at all. But you were stupid enough to risk your future for a stupid letter on your
grade sheet.”
Ryan hung his head.
“And the three of you are best friends. But none of you was able to stop each other from
this madness. You know Cherian would have thrown you into jail.”
“Sir, we’ll say we are sorry sir. Maybe they will be kind,” Alok said.
“Kind? This is the Disco, not Mother Teresa’s home. You saw Cherian’s face,” Prof
Veera said.
The three of us became silent. We could hear the clock ticking in Prof Veera’s office. It
was nine-thirty.
“So what is your plea to the Disco? Guilty or not guilty?” Prof Veera said.
“Guilty. They caught us red-handed sir,” I said.
“Hmm. I think the first thing you have to do is get the expulsion stuff out of the way,” Prof
Veera said.
“You mean there is a chance?” Alok said.
“Not too high, unless Cherian is hell-bent on it. What are you going to say about the
keys?” Prof Veera said.
“I don’t want to bring Neha into this. I thought we’d just say we collected lots of keys and
tried them until one worked,” I said.
“Why not tell them the truth? You have told me everything,” Prof Veera said.
“I don’t want Neha to know,” I said.
“Listen boys, I am trying to help you here. I think you are in a big mess but if you can
twist this a bit, you may save yourself some trouble.”
“Like how?”
“One, we should try and present some alternatives of punishment. I will be there, so I can
suggest an F in the course, a public apology and hundred hours of community service.”
“What is community service?” Ryan said.
“Just helping around in the campus – painting cycle parks or planting trees - that kind of
stuff,” Prof Veera said.
“I hate that stuff,” Ryan said.
“Shut up Ryan. That is fine. Please continue sir,” I said.
“Two, I want you to twist the story a bit. I hate lying, but you won’t have much of a
chance other wise. So, instead of saying you tried different keys, say that Neha gave the keys
to you,” Prof Veera said.
“What?” all three of us said in unison.
“Listen, if you say that you know Neha, and somehow she was upset with her father and
gave you the keys to get even, it will get personal. The Disco committee will think you
didn’t actually break in. I don’t know, they may see right through it, but I think you should
take a chance.”
“What will Neha think when she finds out?” I said, “No way we can do this.”
“An upset girlfriend is better than a tainted degree and no jobs after college,” Prof Veera
said.
“Prof Veera is right Hari,” Ryan said, “you bring Cherian’s family into this and he may
withdraw. Last thing he wants is everyone to know that you are his daughter’s boyfriend.”
“But this will let the whole world know,” I said.
“You don’t have to tell the whole story. Just say Neha is a recent friend of yours. I am
sure Cherian will not dispute that,” Alok said.
“Alok, even you think this is the way?” I said.
“Yes, we have to save our ass right? C’mon, it is just a last-ditch survival strategy. Lastditch
survival,” Alok said.
I hated myself for agreeing to that story. What would Neha think when she heard what I
said? That she helped me by giving the keys? She’d probably hate me forever. The clock
struck ten, and it was time to go to the departmental committee room.
Romance was secondary to survival right now.
Completed 119 pages..
Re: Five Point Someone What not to do at IIT Novel Chetan Bh
20
—
The Longest Day of My Life V
THE IIT DISCO IS ABOUT AS FAR AWAY FROM DANCING AS it can get. Here the
lighting is dull, the room dead silent and almost everyone elderly. Around ten profs sat
around a semicircular table, while the accused students were bang in the centre. Profs fire
questions at students from all directions, the location placing us at minimum distance to each
one of them. It is essentially a more efficient design of a courtroom, I guess, Indem-inspired.
Dean Shastri asked us to take our places. Dean Shastri, Director Verma and Prof Cherian
formed the co-chairpersons. Prof Veera was one of the other seven profs who mattered little
in the scheme of things. A lot of them yawned, probably used to being in bed at this time. Of
course, for their students, dumped with another set of assignments, the night would have just
begun.
“May the disciplinary committee begin, fellow co-chairs,” Dean Shastri said in what I
felt was a complete waste of courtesy.
“You may begin,” the Director and Prof Cherian said. I guess this formality gave them an
extra sense of power.
What if I was speechless today, I thought and sweat broke out all over me. All the profs
opened the special Disco file, which contained a description of last night’s shenanigans.
Ryan noticed my nervousness. It is amazing how people who know you well can sense
everything. “Hari,” he whispered.
I looked at him.
“I know what you are worried about. Remember, this is not a viva. If you don’t open your
trap here, you will be in deeper crap than a bloody zero. You understand, don’t you?”
“Uh, yes,” I said.
“And I want you to know that even though I hate to admit it, you are a bloody stud,” Ryan
said.
“Why?”
“Because, in front of you lies a man who controls your future right now. Yet, whatever he
may do, he can’t take away one fact.”
“What?”
“That you went and slept with his only daughter in broad daylight. That my friend is a true
stud,” Ryan said.
“You think so?” I perked up.
“I do. I salute you man. I am proud to have a friend like you,” Ryan said.
I beamed.
“No talking amongst the students,” Dean Shastri said and looked up from his file.
“Sorry sir,” I said. Ryan and I pointed thumbs at each other. Damn it, I could answer these
old bozos any time.
“Mr Hari Kumar, the files here state that you were found in Prof Cherian’s office last
night with two friends. Is that right?” Dean Shastri said.
“Yes sir,” I said.
“Ryan Oberoi, we learn that security found you with a candle, wax seal and the packet of
major papers in hand. Is that right?”
“Yes, sir,” Ryan agreed.
“Alok Gupta, we learn that it was you who was making a call from Prof Cherian’s phone
last night.”
Alok nodded.
“Do you boys realize the gravity of this incident?” the director said.
“Yes sir, we got carried away sir,” I said. Man, I was surprised I was taking the initiative
to answer these questions.
Other questions were part-rhetoric, part-moral in nature. I can’t even remember all of
them now, it was about integrity and strength of character and all that stuff. We just
apologized, probably a million times. Ultimately they asked the question we were waiting
for.
“How did you get into my office?” Prof Cherian said.
“We had the keys, sir,” Ryan said.
“How did you get the keys?” He looked baffled.
“Sir, we sir…” I said and turned silent. No, I couldn’t do this.
“Hari’s friend Neha gave it to us,” Ryan supplied.
“Who is Neha?” Dean Shastri asked.
“Neha Cherian is Prof Cherian’s daughter. I know her as a friend for the past three
months,” I said.
The room fell silent as Dean Shastri and Director Verma’s mouths went slack. They
turned toward Prof Cherian, as if he was next in the firing line. But that was not Disco
protocol.
“What? You sure of what you are talking about?” Dean Shastri said.
“I am. She was upset with her father and wanted to get even. She offered the keys and we
got carried away,” I said.
There were not too many questions after that. But somehow, every prof wanted to talk to
their neighbour. Even the seven sleepy profs woke up; this was more interesting than a
simple caught-red-handed case.
Cherian whispered something in Dean Shastri’s and Director Verma’s ears. Dean Shastri
nodded and made an announcement.
“We are done with investigating the students. I think we now need to deliberate in the
committee to come up with the important decision. This may take some time, even a couple
of hours. But once we finish, we will have a final decision. No appeals, no pleas. The
students may leave now.”
Dean Shastri signaled us to leave the room. We left the Disco room and came out to the
campus lawns.
“How do you think that went?” Alok said.
I shrugged my shoulders. The thought of Neha kicked me in the stomach.
“Who knows? Let’s wait near here,” Ryan said, sitting down on the wet midnight grass.
“It could take hours,” I said.
“What else do we have to do? But let’s not wait near here. Let’s go to the insti roof,”
Alok said.
I liked the idea of the insti roof. It was the one place where we felt secure now, as even
Kumaon was difficult to be in right now, with a million eyes on us.
“How will we find out they are done?” Ryan said.
“We’ll keep looking down. The corridor light is on. When they come out, we should be
able to see something.”
“Fine, let’s go up,” Ryan said.
We sat on the roof of the institute building, each of us five feet apart at the ends of an
imaginary triangle. The moon shone too audaciously for what is, after all, just reflected
light. It was different on the roof that day. I hated myself for dragging Neha into this. In fact,
I hated myself for being a cheat. And for everything else – agreeing to duplicate the keys,
being a part of Operation Pendulum and bringing my life to this. How did I get here? I was
a topper in my school all my life. That is how I got into IIT, right? But then why am I now
a low-performer, five-point something cheat sitting on the insti roof at midnight, unsure
of my future?
It is funny how your mind comes up with questions. Damn it, it is up to the mind to come
out with the answers, so why can’t it just keep its doubts to itself? I realized I was not
making sense. Two sleepless nights in a row didn’t help. But the questions would not stop.
I looked at my friends. Friends? What the hell is that anyway? Who is this Alok? And
what the fuck do I care that his father is half-dead and his sister can’t be married without
cash? Then I turned to look at Ryan. Yes, the stylish, smart and confident Ryan. The man
who was so sure of himself, he could take on the world. He wanted his revenge on Cherian.
Now what exactly is the point of that? Doesn’t seem like all his ideas are quite so smart
after all. Why do I listen to him and not Alok? And why is everybody so quiet now?
I bent my head to check the time on Ryan’s Swiss watch. It was three in the morning.
“Tea?” Ryan said, rubbing his hands.
“No, I’m already wide awake, thank you,” I said.
“Yeah. I am fine too,” Alok said.
Tea. That is the best Ryan can come up with right now. A shot of caffeine as compensation
for throwing away everything that mattered to us.
“It’s cold here,” Ryan said.
I nodded my head. Yes Ryan, it is miserably cold, infect, almost like a December night in
Delhi, I wanted to say. But you know what, I don’t feel it. There are more important
miserable things happening right now. Like we could be thrown out of IIT in a few hours,
and may never find a respectable education or job again. I chose another response. “Yes,
must be five degrees,” I said.
Half an hour passed. Ryan stood up and walked to the precipice of the roof. Nine stories
high, this is the highest point in the institute. Yet, there is no parapet, as the roof is officially
out of bounds. One step more and Ryan could enjoy his last few seconds of free-fall
weightlessness. He stands on the edge and bends forward to look down. He extends one leg
out.
“What are you doing?” Alok said.
Yes, what exactly are you doing Ryan, I thought. Haven’t we lived on the edge long
enough? Isn’t our life screwed up enough already? Can’t we wait for the Disco results in
silence without engaging in attention-seeking behaviour, please?
“Come back, Ryan,” I called out.
He turned around. “It is really high here.” Slowly, he retreated and came back to where
he’d been sitting.
Yes, it is high. Yes, it is cold. Any other insightful statements, sir, I wondered.
If there is one thing men completely lack, it is the ability to communicate during tough
moments. Alok and I have no words at all, while the best Ryan can come up with is
comments on our thermodynamic and spatial state. So different from Neha who always has
something appropriately verbal for any occasion. But there won’t be any more Neha after
this, especially after Alok’s so called “last-ditch survival” strategy in the Disco interview.
No more Neha – my stomach churns as the fact finally registers. So here I am, sitting with
my two best friends, one will get me thrown out of the college that I worked two years to get
into and endured for another three years. The other has ended whatever semblance of a love
life I ever had.
“You think the Disco might be lenient?” Alok said.
“It is the disciplinary committee, not a joke. You know the Disco never spares,” I said.
Disco, what a name, I find it funny even at this hour, even when I am in the middle of it.
Ryan looked up at both of us. “This was all a bad idea,” he said.
Thank you, Ryan. It is cold, it is very high and yes, Operation Pendulum was a bad idea.
Just keep these obvious statements coming.
We heard a noise downstairs at four-thirty. A few scooters started, as tired profs wanted
to rush back home. That was our cue; the results were out.
“C’mon guys, we need to race down,” I said.
“Yes, let’s go. Prof Veera should be there,” Ryan said.
“I am going to stay here. Just come back and tell me,” Alok said.
“Just come down, Fatso,” Ryan said.
“No, I can’t face the profs when they tell me,” he said.
“Whatever then. Let us go, Hari,” Ryan said.
We ran down the stairs. Most of the profs had left. Dean Shastri, Cherian and Veera
remained.
“Prof Veera sir,” Ryan said as he approached him from behind.
“Ryan,” Prof Veera said, “just a second.”
Prof Veera spoke to Cherian and Dean Shastri for a few more minutes. Soon all of them
wished each other good night. Cherian went to his car, the one that had allowed all this to
happen.
“Sir?” I said.
“Ryan and Hari, you have not been expelled,” Prof Veera said.
“Really? So what was the decision?” I said.
“We talked for hours. There was divided opinion, but ultimately the Disco decided that
the three of you are suspended for one semester.”
“Sir?” I said.
“I tried guys. But the Disco doesn’t go easy. You lose a semester, which means you have
only one last semester to do fourth year courses. Also, you get an F in Indem, and you have
to repeat it again. Not to mention the final year project. As of now, insti rules do not allow
to take that much course-load,” Prof Veera said.
“So we have to do courses next year. And we can’t sit for job interviews either,” I said.
“I am afraid so. I tried talking to Prof Cherian about allowing some project credit in the
suspended semester. I asked if you guys could work with me. But he just said no.
Suspension means full suspension.”
“It’s over. Our grade sheets are ruined. We can’t get a job. And we have to wait an extra
year to get a useless degree,” I said.
Ryan kept silent.
“I am sorry it turned out this way guys,” Prof Veera said, patting our shoulders. He
walked past us to his scooter. A few seconds and some exhaust smoke later, he was gone.
We climbed up to the insti roof, where Alok waited with his hands folded. Maybe he was
praying. Or maybe he was just cold.
“Kicked out for one sem. F in Indem. Need to stay until next year to complete course,”
Ryan said, summing it up for Alok.
“What?” Alok said, coming out of his trance.
“Prof Veera tried, saved an expulsion. But it is still pretty screwy. I don’t know what
we’ll do,” I said.
We sat down again. It was five a.m., just one hour before daybreak.
Alok stood up without saying anything. I wished he would, as his face seemed tense as
hell. He walked to the edge of the roof where Ryan had stood just an hour back.
“You were right Ryan. It is pretty high here,” Alok said.
“You okay Alok?” Ryan said.
“Yes. You think only you can stand on the edge of the roof?” Alok asked.
“No. Just come back and let us go down. I have had enough,” Ryan said.
Alok continued to look down as he replied, “For once Ryan, I agree with you. I’ve had
enough too. I think I’ll just go down.”
There was something messed up in the tone of Alok’s voice. I turned around to look at
him. He stood straight, then one jump up and then straight down. In half a second, he was out
of sight. Gravity had done its job.
—
The Longest Day of My Life V
THE IIT DISCO IS ABOUT AS FAR AWAY FROM DANCING AS it can get. Here the
lighting is dull, the room dead silent and almost everyone elderly. Around ten profs sat
around a semicircular table, while the accused students were bang in the centre. Profs fire
questions at students from all directions, the location placing us at minimum distance to each
one of them. It is essentially a more efficient design of a courtroom, I guess, Indem-inspired.
Dean Shastri asked us to take our places. Dean Shastri, Director Verma and Prof Cherian
formed the co-chairpersons. Prof Veera was one of the other seven profs who mattered little
in the scheme of things. A lot of them yawned, probably used to being in bed at this time. Of
course, for their students, dumped with another set of assignments, the night would have just
begun.
“May the disciplinary committee begin, fellow co-chairs,” Dean Shastri said in what I
felt was a complete waste of courtesy.
“You may begin,” the Director and Prof Cherian said. I guess this formality gave them an
extra sense of power.
What if I was speechless today, I thought and sweat broke out all over me. All the profs
opened the special Disco file, which contained a description of last night’s shenanigans.
Ryan noticed my nervousness. It is amazing how people who know you well can sense
everything. “Hari,” he whispered.
I looked at him.
“I know what you are worried about. Remember, this is not a viva. If you don’t open your
trap here, you will be in deeper crap than a bloody zero. You understand, don’t you?”
“Uh, yes,” I said.
“And I want you to know that even though I hate to admit it, you are a bloody stud,” Ryan
said.
“Why?”
“Because, in front of you lies a man who controls your future right now. Yet, whatever he
may do, he can’t take away one fact.”
“What?”
“That you went and slept with his only daughter in broad daylight. That my friend is a true
stud,” Ryan said.
“You think so?” I perked up.
“I do. I salute you man. I am proud to have a friend like you,” Ryan said.
I beamed.
“No talking amongst the students,” Dean Shastri said and looked up from his file.
“Sorry sir,” I said. Ryan and I pointed thumbs at each other. Damn it, I could answer these
old bozos any time.
“Mr Hari Kumar, the files here state that you were found in Prof Cherian’s office last
night with two friends. Is that right?” Dean Shastri said.
“Yes sir,” I said.
“Ryan Oberoi, we learn that security found you with a candle, wax seal and the packet of
major papers in hand. Is that right?”
“Yes, sir,” Ryan agreed.
“Alok Gupta, we learn that it was you who was making a call from Prof Cherian’s phone
last night.”
Alok nodded.
“Do you boys realize the gravity of this incident?” the director said.
“Yes sir, we got carried away sir,” I said. Man, I was surprised I was taking the initiative
to answer these questions.
Other questions were part-rhetoric, part-moral in nature. I can’t even remember all of
them now, it was about integrity and strength of character and all that stuff. We just
apologized, probably a million times. Ultimately they asked the question we were waiting
for.
“How did you get into my office?” Prof Cherian said.
“We had the keys, sir,” Ryan said.
“How did you get the keys?” He looked baffled.
“Sir, we sir…” I said and turned silent. No, I couldn’t do this.
“Hari’s friend Neha gave it to us,” Ryan supplied.
“Who is Neha?” Dean Shastri asked.
“Neha Cherian is Prof Cherian’s daughter. I know her as a friend for the past three
months,” I said.
The room fell silent as Dean Shastri and Director Verma’s mouths went slack. They
turned toward Prof Cherian, as if he was next in the firing line. But that was not Disco
protocol.
“What? You sure of what you are talking about?” Dean Shastri said.
“I am. She was upset with her father and wanted to get even. She offered the keys and we
got carried away,” I said.
There were not too many questions after that. But somehow, every prof wanted to talk to
their neighbour. Even the seven sleepy profs woke up; this was more interesting than a
simple caught-red-handed case.
Cherian whispered something in Dean Shastri’s and Director Verma’s ears. Dean Shastri
nodded and made an announcement.
“We are done with investigating the students. I think we now need to deliberate in the
committee to come up with the important decision. This may take some time, even a couple
of hours. But once we finish, we will have a final decision. No appeals, no pleas. The
students may leave now.”
Dean Shastri signaled us to leave the room. We left the Disco room and came out to the
campus lawns.
“How do you think that went?” Alok said.
I shrugged my shoulders. The thought of Neha kicked me in the stomach.
“Who knows? Let’s wait near here,” Ryan said, sitting down on the wet midnight grass.
“It could take hours,” I said.
“What else do we have to do? But let’s not wait near here. Let’s go to the insti roof,”
Alok said.
I liked the idea of the insti roof. It was the one place where we felt secure now, as even
Kumaon was difficult to be in right now, with a million eyes on us.
“How will we find out they are done?” Ryan said.
“We’ll keep looking down. The corridor light is on. When they come out, we should be
able to see something.”
“Fine, let’s go up,” Ryan said.
We sat on the roof of the institute building, each of us five feet apart at the ends of an
imaginary triangle. The moon shone too audaciously for what is, after all, just reflected
light. It was different on the roof that day. I hated myself for dragging Neha into this. In fact,
I hated myself for being a cheat. And for everything else – agreeing to duplicate the keys,
being a part of Operation Pendulum and bringing my life to this. How did I get here? I was
a topper in my school all my life. That is how I got into IIT, right? But then why am I now
a low-performer, five-point something cheat sitting on the insti roof at midnight, unsure
of my future?
It is funny how your mind comes up with questions. Damn it, it is up to the mind to come
out with the answers, so why can’t it just keep its doubts to itself? I realized I was not
making sense. Two sleepless nights in a row didn’t help. But the questions would not stop.
I looked at my friends. Friends? What the hell is that anyway? Who is this Alok? And
what the fuck do I care that his father is half-dead and his sister can’t be married without
cash? Then I turned to look at Ryan. Yes, the stylish, smart and confident Ryan. The man
who was so sure of himself, he could take on the world. He wanted his revenge on Cherian.
Now what exactly is the point of that? Doesn’t seem like all his ideas are quite so smart
after all. Why do I listen to him and not Alok? And why is everybody so quiet now?
I bent my head to check the time on Ryan’s Swiss watch. It was three in the morning.
“Tea?” Ryan said, rubbing his hands.
“No, I’m already wide awake, thank you,” I said.
“Yeah. I am fine too,” Alok said.
Tea. That is the best Ryan can come up with right now. A shot of caffeine as compensation
for throwing away everything that mattered to us.
“It’s cold here,” Ryan said.
I nodded my head. Yes Ryan, it is miserably cold, infect, almost like a December night in
Delhi, I wanted to say. But you know what, I don’t feel it. There are more important
miserable things happening right now. Like we could be thrown out of IIT in a few hours,
and may never find a respectable education or job again. I chose another response. “Yes,
must be five degrees,” I said.
Half an hour passed. Ryan stood up and walked to the precipice of the roof. Nine stories
high, this is the highest point in the institute. Yet, there is no parapet, as the roof is officially
out of bounds. One step more and Ryan could enjoy his last few seconds of free-fall
weightlessness. He stands on the edge and bends forward to look down. He extends one leg
out.
“What are you doing?” Alok said.
Yes, what exactly are you doing Ryan, I thought. Haven’t we lived on the edge long
enough? Isn’t our life screwed up enough already? Can’t we wait for the Disco results in
silence without engaging in attention-seeking behaviour, please?
“Come back, Ryan,” I called out.
He turned around. “It is really high here.” Slowly, he retreated and came back to where
he’d been sitting.
Yes, it is high. Yes, it is cold. Any other insightful statements, sir, I wondered.
If there is one thing men completely lack, it is the ability to communicate during tough
moments. Alok and I have no words at all, while the best Ryan can come up with is
comments on our thermodynamic and spatial state. So different from Neha who always has
something appropriately verbal for any occasion. But there won’t be any more Neha after
this, especially after Alok’s so called “last-ditch survival” strategy in the Disco interview.
No more Neha – my stomach churns as the fact finally registers. So here I am, sitting with
my two best friends, one will get me thrown out of the college that I worked two years to get
into and endured for another three years. The other has ended whatever semblance of a love
life I ever had.
“You think the Disco might be lenient?” Alok said.
“It is the disciplinary committee, not a joke. You know the Disco never spares,” I said.
Disco, what a name, I find it funny even at this hour, even when I am in the middle of it.
Ryan looked up at both of us. “This was all a bad idea,” he said.
Thank you, Ryan. It is cold, it is very high and yes, Operation Pendulum was a bad idea.
Just keep these obvious statements coming.
We heard a noise downstairs at four-thirty. A few scooters started, as tired profs wanted
to rush back home. That was our cue; the results were out.
“C’mon guys, we need to race down,” I said.
“Yes, let’s go. Prof Veera should be there,” Ryan said.
“I am going to stay here. Just come back and tell me,” Alok said.
“Just come down, Fatso,” Ryan said.
“No, I can’t face the profs when they tell me,” he said.
“Whatever then. Let us go, Hari,” Ryan said.
We ran down the stairs. Most of the profs had left. Dean Shastri, Cherian and Veera
remained.
“Prof Veera sir,” Ryan said as he approached him from behind.
“Ryan,” Prof Veera said, “just a second.”
Prof Veera spoke to Cherian and Dean Shastri for a few more minutes. Soon all of them
wished each other good night. Cherian went to his car, the one that had allowed all this to
happen.
“Sir?” I said.
“Ryan and Hari, you have not been expelled,” Prof Veera said.
“Really? So what was the decision?” I said.
“We talked for hours. There was divided opinion, but ultimately the Disco decided that
the three of you are suspended for one semester.”
“Sir?” I said.
“I tried guys. But the Disco doesn’t go easy. You lose a semester, which means you have
only one last semester to do fourth year courses. Also, you get an F in Indem, and you have
to repeat it again. Not to mention the final year project. As of now, insti rules do not allow
to take that much course-load,” Prof Veera said.
“So we have to do courses next year. And we can’t sit for job interviews either,” I said.
“I am afraid so. I tried talking to Prof Cherian about allowing some project credit in the
suspended semester. I asked if you guys could work with me. But he just said no.
Suspension means full suspension.”
“It’s over. Our grade sheets are ruined. We can’t get a job. And we have to wait an extra
year to get a useless degree,” I said.
Ryan kept silent.
“I am sorry it turned out this way guys,” Prof Veera said, patting our shoulders. He
walked past us to his scooter. A few seconds and some exhaust smoke later, he was gone.
We climbed up to the insti roof, where Alok waited with his hands folded. Maybe he was
praying. Or maybe he was just cold.
“Kicked out for one sem. F in Indem. Need to stay until next year to complete course,”
Ryan said, summing it up for Alok.
“What?” Alok said, coming out of his trance.
“Prof Veera tried, saved an expulsion. But it is still pretty screwy. I don’t know what
we’ll do,” I said.
We sat down again. It was five a.m., just one hour before daybreak.
Alok stood up without saying anything. I wished he would, as his face seemed tense as
hell. He walked to the edge of the roof where Ryan had stood just an hour back.
“You were right Ryan. It is pretty high here,” Alok said.
“You okay Alok?” Ryan said.
“Yes. You think only you can stand on the edge of the roof?” Alok asked.
“No. Just come back and let us go down. I have had enough,” Ryan said.
Alok continued to look down as he replied, “For once Ryan, I agree with you. I’ve had
enough too. I think I’ll just go down.”
There was something messed up in the tone of Alok’s voice. I turned around to look at
him. He stood straight, then one jump up and then straight down. In half a second, he was out
of sight. Gravity had done its job.