Chapter 15
I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock. I have a major headache and reach over feeling all the pain and soreness from the night before and shut it off. I look at the time and it's 7:00am. I slowly sit up wincing at the pain all over my body trying to access all the major injured area's.
My stomach, my ribs, and face needed extra care today everything else I would have to bare through. So I slowly swing my legs off the bed and stand up. I walk to my door and pause. I slowly turn the knob and slightly pull the door open. I poke my head through the door and freeze.
I see Jonathan walking down the stairs and he pauses and looks up at me. I look at him waiting for him to say some crude thing or make me come down there so he can rape me or something to that affect. He opens his mouth to say something then stops and closes it then turns around walks down the rest of the stairs then out the door.
I stand at my door totally taken by surprise. My brother has rarely if at all let me slip by him without hitting me, cursing me, or using my body for his pleasure. I quickly walk to the bathroom still thinking about Jonathan and what on earth was going on with him.
I walk in the bathroom and look in the mirror and see that thankfully the bruises on my face have faded enough for make-up to cover it. I slowly peel off my clothes and see the black and blue thing i call my. Most of my body is either, black, blue, yellow, or a light brown.
I look away and get into the shower a quickly shower being careful of all my bruises and step out careful to avoid the mirror. I look down at the floor and curse "Damn it." I was such in a rush to see my bruises I forgot to bring my clothes into the bathroom. I put on a towel silently wish for my father to still be sleeping.
I open the door and nearly jump out of my skin. I have no such luck that he is sleeping. He is standing right at my door fully dressed in his police uniform. Gun and all. I instinctively look at the gun which his hand is placed over. "Calm down you stupid bitch I'm not going to shoot you I don't want the blood on me."
He Sneers and before I can react snatches me out of the bathroom. I yelp clutching my towel for dear life. He takes his gun out of its holster and takes the safety off and presses it to my temple. I begin to cry insistently trying not to scream because i know that would only make him pull the trigger.
"I just came to give you a warning if you talk to that boy again I won't give a fuck about the blood next time." I'm so scared I actually urinate on myself. He shoves me to the ground right into my own pee and spits on me "You filthy stupid fucking bitch clean your piss up." Then he turns and walks down the stairs and out the door.
I use my towel to wipe off the spit and and move completely on autopilot re-cleaning myself and cleaning up my urine off the floor. The whole time thinking he could have shot me. He could have blown my brains everywhere. He has never held a gun to my head and made his threats so real.
I have never been more afraid in my life. Just because I talked to a boy once in my life after 17 years not once have I shown interest in a boy, but one boy shows interest and I almost get my head blown off. I'm in shock and denile at the whole ordeal and stupid not to have seen it coming, For not anticipating that it would happen.
Of course one day he's going to go through with all of his threats. Of course he's not going to let me go to college and live my life. I'm never going to leave this house. Never going to have a chance at a life without fear, pain, and neglect. He will kill me before he lets me be happy.
I think of the cold, metal, heavy gun held to my head and realize that my life is going nowhere. I will be nothing. No one will ever love me. I am alone in a hell on earth and I can't escape it. I hate my life and I hate myself.
Even though that was the scariest thing I have ever experience I can't help but think that maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he would have just pulled the trigger and ended it all. Ended my hurt, my pain, and most of all my suffering.
Erotic novel - Sugar Lips
Re: Erotic novel - Sugar Lips - Chapter 16
Chapter 16
I barely make it to my bus I have to run full speed to catch it but gladly make it. I get onto the bus and sit next to Hope and can't bring myself to say anything. she looks at me frowning with a concerned look and says " Hey Shawntel. One of those mornings again?"
I nod my head without looking at her. I told her awhile ago that I suffered severe migraines and some mornings it was so painful that I could barely function. But at least it wasn't a complete lie. I came up with the lie for mornings that were particularly rough and made me feel about as big as a grain of sand, until I can later in the day were I can compose my cover and put my everything's okay mask back on.
I hate lying to my best friend and the only person that didn't make me feel like nothing.. well the only person until Jace... No! I mentally curse myself I can't think of him like that any longer for the sake of both of our lives. Damn I completely forgot that he rides my bus and in a matter of minutes i'm going to see that green eyed beauty.
I mentally curse myself I must do better on not thinking about him. I'm so deep in thought that I don't even realize that Hope is talking to me. "Get that checked out because something could be seriously wrong." I look at her finally and raise and eyebrow. She sighs " I said you may want to get your migraines checked out."
I sigh and clear my throat before speaking "I just need to take my medicine and i'll be fine thanks Hope." I give her my best reassuring smile. The bus comes to another stop and sure enough my adonis comes onto the bus in the same black converses, black pants, and a long sleeve green shirt that matches his eyes.
But to my surprise he steps onto the bus and immediately locks eyes with me and actually comes toward the empty bench next to me. I'm so shocked I have no time to react. "Hi Hope, Hi Shawntel." He flashes that dazzling smile again and i look down suddenly fascinated with my shoes and mumble a inaudible "Hi."
"Hi Jace." says Hope and she bumps me with her elbow. I continue to look at my shoes. "How are you doing this morning?" I look at him finally with my best what do you think you're doing look. He just continues to look at me though waiting. "Sorry Jace she has a headache so she's not feeling the best today." Hope speaks up for me.
" He looks at me with concern on his face. Why is he looking at me like that? He doesn't even know me yet he's looking at me like he would climb the highest mountain to get anything to make me feel better. "Really? I'm sorry your feeling ill I hope you feel better."
I nod my head and look back down and I see out the corner of my eye him reach into his bag and pull out the book he was reading yesterday. I guess he finished feeling sorry for the pathetic girl. Why is he talking to me he said he would never talk to me again.
I don't get it. We ride for the rest of the way to school without saying anything to each other and I'm grateful for it. He makes me so nervous but not a bad nervous but a good nervous and I dont have time to explore feeling and potentially ruin this beautiful boys life.
I barely make it to my bus I have to run full speed to catch it but gladly make it. I get onto the bus and sit next to Hope and can't bring myself to say anything. she looks at me frowning with a concerned look and says " Hey Shawntel. One of those mornings again?"
I nod my head without looking at her. I told her awhile ago that I suffered severe migraines and some mornings it was so painful that I could barely function. But at least it wasn't a complete lie. I came up with the lie for mornings that were particularly rough and made me feel about as big as a grain of sand, until I can later in the day were I can compose my cover and put my everything's okay mask back on.
I hate lying to my best friend and the only person that didn't make me feel like nothing.. well the only person until Jace... No! I mentally curse myself I can't think of him like that any longer for the sake of both of our lives. Damn I completely forgot that he rides my bus and in a matter of minutes i'm going to see that green eyed beauty.
I mentally curse myself I must do better on not thinking about him. I'm so deep in thought that I don't even realize that Hope is talking to me. "Get that checked out because something could be seriously wrong." I look at her finally and raise and eyebrow. She sighs " I said you may want to get your migraines checked out."
I sigh and clear my throat before speaking "I just need to take my medicine and i'll be fine thanks Hope." I give her my best reassuring smile. The bus comes to another stop and sure enough my adonis comes onto the bus in the same black converses, black pants, and a long sleeve green shirt that matches his eyes.
But to my surprise he steps onto the bus and immediately locks eyes with me and actually comes toward the empty bench next to me. I'm so shocked I have no time to react. "Hi Hope, Hi Shawntel." He flashes that dazzling smile again and i look down suddenly fascinated with my shoes and mumble a inaudible "Hi."
"Hi Jace." says Hope and she bumps me with her elbow. I continue to look at my shoes. "How are you doing this morning?" I look at him finally with my best what do you think you're doing look. He just continues to look at me though waiting. "Sorry Jace she has a headache so she's not feeling the best today." Hope speaks up for me.
" He looks at me with concern on his face. Why is he looking at me like that? He doesn't even know me yet he's looking at me like he would climb the highest mountain to get anything to make me feel better. "Really? I'm sorry your feeling ill I hope you feel better."
I nod my head and look back down and I see out the corner of my eye him reach into his bag and pull out the book he was reading yesterday. I guess he finished feeling sorry for the pathetic girl. Why is he talking to me he said he would never talk to me again.
I don't get it. We ride for the rest of the way to school without saying anything to each other and I'm grateful for it. He makes me so nervous but not a bad nervous but a good nervous and I dont have time to explore feeling and potentially ruin this beautiful boys life.
Re: Erotic novel - Sugar Lips - Chapter 17
Chapter 17
The day seemed to be normal so far so good. I managed not to run into Jace since we got off the bus but it's the end of second period and now it's time for lunch. I can't help but wish to see him, but at the same time I just wish he would go sit with Tanya for my sake and his.
Hope and I go through the line and my eyes can't help looking around the cafeteria looking for those beautiful green eyes. But I don't see him anywhere. " Shawntel!" Hope says to me. "Huh?" I finally realize she's been talking to me this whole time.
"Are you looking for JJace?" She says quietly making sure no one hears. I look down "No, of course not." I say lying horribly. "It's okay to like him Shawny it's normal for a girl to like a guy." She nudges me playfully. That's what she doesnt realize is the severity just having a crush could do to me and Jace.
"Right." I say faking a smile even though a part of me insides aches. We go to our usual table and sit and right on cue Jace walks into the cafeteria. He locks eyes with me almost instantaneously. He takes a step toward our table and I feel all air escape my lungs.
But before he takes a second step there she is. Tanya steps directly in front of him and he stops, his eyes leaving mine for hers. He looks at her perfect face and her stupid perfect smile, and her stupid batting eyelashes. All of a sudden I feel sick to my stomach.
She leans over and whispers something in his ear. His eyebrows pull together and his eyes goes back to mine looking at me calculating. "Oh no." I accidentally say out loud "What?" says Hope as she turns in her seat fallowing my eyes to that bitch and Jace.
Then Tanya leans back upright and places a hand on his chest and slides it up to his collar and with one more sad look in my direction she turns him around, and drags him out of the cafeteria. Tanya turns around looking at me and winks and laughs.
The door shut behind them and I look down at my hands. My chest feeling suddenly empty. Hope reaches over and grabs my hands "I'm sorry." I slide my hands back and look up composing my face. "No need to be sorry it's no big deal." She looks at me apprehensively but doesn't push.
Why would he want me anyway when he could have perfect Tanya Baker? She's way prettier, popular and not emotionally fucked up like I am. He's better off with her instead of an ugly loser like me. What was I thinking that a beautiful guy like him could ever be really interested in a girl like me.
A few minutes later I look and see Tanya entering the cafeteria. Alone. She doesnt look nearly as smug as she did before, in fact she looks pretty ticked off. She looks at me and I see all the hate in her eyes and she smiles a devil smile and clickity clacks to the popular table.
"What was that about?" says Hope seeing the whole scene. "I have no idea." feeling confused and frightened at the same time. What could I have possibly done? What was that look for? What is she planning to do to me now? I didn''t even do anything.
"Dddamn we have to watch our backs for awhile, I didn't like that look." says Hope going pale. But I have the feeling that, that look wasn't meant for anyone else but me that Hope would end up okay, but me? No I'd be going into this battle alone.
Damn why does this shit always happen to me? It's time to leave lunch and go to third period Chemistry the only class I have with Tanya and I walk into the classroom and stop. Damn he's in this class too.. Well this should be a fun period.
The day seemed to be normal so far so good. I managed not to run into Jace since we got off the bus but it's the end of second period and now it's time for lunch. I can't help but wish to see him, but at the same time I just wish he would go sit with Tanya for my sake and his.
Hope and I go through the line and my eyes can't help looking around the cafeteria looking for those beautiful green eyes. But I don't see him anywhere. " Shawntel!" Hope says to me. "Huh?" I finally realize she's been talking to me this whole time.
"Are you looking for JJace?" She says quietly making sure no one hears. I look down "No, of course not." I say lying horribly. "It's okay to like him Shawny it's normal for a girl to like a guy." She nudges me playfully. That's what she doesnt realize is the severity just having a crush could do to me and Jace.
"Right." I say faking a smile even though a part of me insides aches. We go to our usual table and sit and right on cue Jace walks into the cafeteria. He locks eyes with me almost instantaneously. He takes a step toward our table and I feel all air escape my lungs.
But before he takes a second step there she is. Tanya steps directly in front of him and he stops, his eyes leaving mine for hers. He looks at her perfect face and her stupid perfect smile, and her stupid batting eyelashes. All of a sudden I feel sick to my stomach.
She leans over and whispers something in his ear. His eyebrows pull together and his eyes goes back to mine looking at me calculating. "Oh no." I accidentally say out loud "What?" says Hope as she turns in her seat fallowing my eyes to that bitch and Jace.
Then Tanya leans back upright and places a hand on his chest and slides it up to his collar and with one more sad look in my direction she turns him around, and drags him out of the cafeteria. Tanya turns around looking at me and winks and laughs.
The door shut behind them and I look down at my hands. My chest feeling suddenly empty. Hope reaches over and grabs my hands "I'm sorry." I slide my hands back and look up composing my face. "No need to be sorry it's no big deal." She looks at me apprehensively but doesn't push.
Why would he want me anyway when he could have perfect Tanya Baker? She's way prettier, popular and not emotionally fucked up like I am. He's better off with her instead of an ugly loser like me. What was I thinking that a beautiful guy like him could ever be really interested in a girl like me.
A few minutes later I look and see Tanya entering the cafeteria. Alone. She doesnt look nearly as smug as she did before, in fact she looks pretty ticked off. She looks at me and I see all the hate in her eyes and she smiles a devil smile and clickity clacks to the popular table.
"What was that about?" says Hope seeing the whole scene. "I have no idea." feeling confused and frightened at the same time. What could I have possibly done? What was that look for? What is she planning to do to me now? I didn''t even do anything.
"Dddamn we have to watch our backs for awhile, I didn't like that look." says Hope going pale. But I have the feeling that, that look wasn't meant for anyone else but me that Hope would end up okay, but me? No I'd be going into this battle alone.
Damn why does this shit always happen to me? It's time to leave lunch and go to third period Chemistry the only class I have with Tanya and I walk into the classroom and stop. Damn he's in this class too.. Well this should be a fun period.